Jay Evensen
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"On Second Thought" for Oct. 14, 2012

10/8/2012

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  • Protesters across Europe paused from torching cars and throwing rocks last week to celebrate the European Union winning the Nobel Peace Prize.

  • Jubilant EU officials said they would be happy to travel to Oslo to accept the prize, except they can’t seem to find the money for airfare.

  • Meanwhile, the Greeks are wondering what the peace prize might fetch on eBay.

  • There hasn’t been this much head-scratching since the Nobel committee awarded Barack Obama for not being named George W. Bush.

  • I don’t want to say gas prices are high in California, but it’s now just about cheaper to buy a new SUV — provided it comes with a full tank — than it is to fill up the old one.

  • They don’t call it the Golden State for nothing. And right now, gold is going for about three gallons an ounce there.

  • Hugo Chavez proved last week that you can win an election even if you don’t win a debate, or even submit to one.

  • All you need is a winning smile, a warm personality and the power to force all media to broadcast your speeches, force government workers to campaign for you and suppress dissent.

  • Salt Lake County officials have decided to send out property tax notices this week rather than wait until early November, which is too close to Halloween. One scary thing at a time, please.

  • Meanwhile, health officials are still cool to my festive idea — spook house flu-shot clinics. At some point during the scary tour of a haunted house, a monster would come out of nowhere and stab customers with a syringe.  Why not make health care fun?
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    Everyone likes to laugh. Some of us even like to groan occasionally. Well, you've come to the right place. "On second thought" is a weekly feature I  produce for the Deseret News, available on Mondays. But here you can read them as I think of them.
      Oh yes, and if you've got something even funnier, post it in the comments. If I like it, I may use it.

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