​A lighthearted look at news of the day:
 
Utah Reps. Rob Bishop and Jason Chaffetz unveiled a compromise plan last week to end all the fighting over public lands in the state. The compromise is this: The congressmen get to propose what they want, while environmentalists and the president get to promise none of it will become law.
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Bishop said the plan brings “certainty” to people who use public lands in Utah. It does indeed. Judging by the reaction, we are now certain public lands issues never will be solved.
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The Utah Legislature begins its annual session today. One of the big topics will be whether to legalize marijuana for medicinal purposes. Another is whether to completely outlaw smoking at the Salt Lake International Airport. Apparently, being sick of airport security and delayed flights does not qualify as a medical emergency.
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Actually, if they pass a medical marijuana bill, lawmakers are likely to legalize only the consumption, and not the smoking, of the plant. Just beware if your teenager seems to be inhaling the brownies his friends made for him.
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Sarah Palin officially endorsed Donald Trump last week. Democrats and a lot of Republicans hope she can do for Trump what she did for John McCain’s campaign in 2008.
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Not long after Palin’s endorsement, Bob Dole also came out in favor of Trump, giving him a clear majority of his party’s unsuccessful former candidates.
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Meanwhile, the only thing dropping faster than Hillary Clinton’s poll numbers is the Dow Jones Industrial average.
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Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders give Democrats two clear choices. One apparently puts top-secret things on a personal email server; the other can’t remember how to turn on the computer.
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Meanwhile, scientists are planning to readjust the “Doomsday Clock” at a press conference on Tuesday. The clock is set at three minutes to midnight, where scientists placed it last January. I have a clock similar to that at home. I can assure them theirs isn’t working.
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Chances are, scientists are going to readjust the clock. It will now read three minutes to next November.

​A lighthearted look at news of the day:

North Korea announced last week it had detonated a hydrogen bomb. It was scary news, and word is Kim Jong-Un is threatening to do even more unless the University of Utah agrees to play BYU again in basketball.
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Washington wasn’t impressed by North Korea’s bomb; saying it technically doesn’t qualify as a hydrogen bomb if it only makes some noise, then pokes up a little flag that says, “boom!”
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Thank goodness civilized nations take a more intelligent approach to national security, such as by putting suspicious-looking 6-year-old boys on the no-fly list.
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Syed Adam Ahmed, age 6, had a hard time flying with his folks from Toronto to Boston recently because the Canadian government and Air Canada had him on a no-fly list as a suspected terrorist. Granted, kids that age can be little terrors, but that’s not really the spirit of the list.
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A story in the New York Daily News said Air Canada told Ahmed’s family they may want to change their son’s name to avoid future flying troubles. Great suggestion. Here’s another one: Canada could change its name, so the list no longer would apply.
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You can change your name and be removed from the no-fly list? Good thing real terrorists never would think of such a thing.
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When it comes to global economics, they used to say that when the U.S. sneezed, the rest of the world caught a cold. Apparently, things have changed. Last week, Wall Street came down with a bad case of the China flu.
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That’s what happens when your No. 1 creditor begins to feel ill and you still want to borrow money.
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The federal government has issued new dietary guidelines. Here’s the short version: Whatever you’re eating is wrong.
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The government once had a food pyramid until, in the spirit of “you are what you eat,” most Americans started looking like pyramids.
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President Obama last week called ISIS members, “Killers with good social media.” This was not good news for the person in charge of the Twitter account for Brandon Flowers and the rest of The Killers.