Jay Evensen
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On Second Thought for Aug. 26, 2019

8/23/2019

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​A lighthearted look at the news of the day:
 
This is the week we finally get to see people knocking heads and tackling each other without caring which political party they represent.
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The great thing about concussion seas … er … football season, is that every time you hear the word “hike,” you don’t have to check your wallet to see if politicians have raised taxes. 
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President Trump’s plan to purchase Greeland could be called the Three Stooges Doctrine. It’s all Nuuk, Nuuk, Nuuk.
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Actually, if this sale thing happens, Nuuk could be the next trendy vacation spot, until Americans figure out the land isn’t really green.
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The Danish prime minister called Trump’s suggestion about buying Greenland “absurd.” The president responded that the prime minister’s comment was “nasty,” and he canceled an upcoming trip to Denmark. This is known as posturing. It’s the only thing the president has left after he discovered he couldn’t just press the “buy it now” button.
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With global warming on the way, the president undoubtedly knows a good deal when he sees it. And, after all, Denmark’s not really doing anything with Greenland. Maybe he ought to see if the prime minister would go for a rent-to-own deal.
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On second thought, the last time we tried that we ended up having to give back the Panama Canal.
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Of course, the United States might want to think about fixing some Park Service toilets and paying down the debt a bit before buying another island.
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Actually, Greenland is emerging as a possibly energy rich prize as the climate warms. Denmark should know that we could offer a better deal than China for the island, even though we would have to borrow more money … from China.
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Democratic hopeful Jay Inslee dropped out of the race last week, disappointing possibly tens of people.
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Inslee’s decision raised questions about how many other obscure Democrats might remain in the race.
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ABC television raised a ruckus last week by inviting former White House spokesman Sean Spicer to be on Dancing With the Stars. Actually, he seems like a natural, given how he used to dance around questions from reporters.
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    Everyone likes to laugh. Some of us even like to groan occasionally. Well, you've come to the right place. "On second thought" is a weekly feature I  produce for the Deseret News, available on Mondays. But here you can read them as I think of them.
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