Jay Evensen
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'On Second Thought' for Aug. 20, 2012

8/13/2012

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    • OK, everyone save the notes you took on diving, archery and water polo so you can  pick up where you left off in four years.
    • While many of us thought Kim Jong-Un and the North Koreans had the corner on the nutty dictatorship market, Alexander Lukashenko of Belarus was waiting in the wings. Last week he went nuts because some Swedes parachuted Teddy Bears into his country complete with human rights messages.
    • Lukashenko has summoned the Swedes back to his country to face charges, and he took two Belarusians hostage as bait. No word on the fate of the teddy bears.
    • You've gotta love a leader who wants to protect his nation from invading stuffed animals.
    • But Lukashenko is no dummy. He knows: today it's a teddy bear, tomorrow it could be Buzz Lightyear.
    • Five Mormon siblings got married on the same day recently in Arizona. That means there are at least five guys with no excuse for ever forgetting an anniversary.
    • In the spirit of the Olympics, I suppose it’s only right to stage synchronized weddings. But if all five couples eventually have a baby on the same day, that would be going a bit too far.
    • Vice President Joe Biden in Virginia this week: "Where is it written that we cannot lead the world in the 20th century in making automobiles?" Good question. For that matter, let's set a goal to lead the world in automobiles in the 19th century, too.
    • Then he told the folks in Virginia, "with you, we can win North Carolina!" Was he talking about basketball? Can the vice president please have an interpreter?
    • Muhammed Rahim — a former translator for Osama bin Laden and a current inmate at Guantánamo Bay — sent a letter to his attorney recently saying he feels Lebron James should apologize to the city of Cleveland for the way he left to play basketball for the Miami Heat. Well, of course. As every good terrorist knows, there are some lines that can't be crossed.
    • Killing innocent people is one thing, but we're talking about NBA loyalty here.
    • One thing is for sure, Rahim has put the good people of Cleveland in a difficult spot, somewhere between Lebron and a hard place.
    • The Canyons School District this year will be encouraging good behavior by handing out "bus bucks," redeemable for prizes, to kids who act civilly on school buses. Hey — maybe they've hit on a cure for negative political campaigns.
    • If President Obama knew it would cost him that bicycle he wants, maybe he would tell his people to quit accusing Mitt Romney of felonies.
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    Everyone likes to laugh. Some of us even like to groan occasionally. Well, you've come to the right place. "On second thought" is a weekly feature I  produce for the Deseret News, available on Mondays. But here you can read them as I think of them.
      Oh yes, and if you've got something even funnier, post it in the comments. If I like it, I may use it.

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