Politicians in Washington thought they could scare us with long lines at the airport. Ha! That’s like scaring Britons with fog.
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Inconvenience at an airport? This is news? That’s kind of like fruitcake at Christmas — inevitable, distasteful, hardly a surprise, but something you have to endure to get to grandma’s house.
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Besides, Americans don’t worry about canceled flights because they relish food vouchers for greasy restaurants and a night at a bad hotel without luggage.
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It was interesting to see how quickly Congress acted when airline passengers started complaining. If we could somehow tie rising air fares to the growth of the national debt, our problems soon would be solved.
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Federal officials, meanwhile, are trying to explain why they arrested an apparently innocent Mississippi man for sending ricin-laced envelopes to the president and members of Congress. At least his name wasn’t Richard Jewell.
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Notre Dame football star Manti Te’o wasn’t picked the first round of the NFL draft last week. Maybe coaches worried he would chase imaginary ball carriers.
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Given the questionable, and sometimes illegal, exploits of some athletes off the field, being true to a fictional girlfriend shouldn’t be a concern.
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Former president George W. Bush learned this week that his poll numbers are up. If the key to popularity is to not say much for four years, I don’t think a lot of politicians have it in them.
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Meanwhile, the approval rating for Congress fell to 13.5 percent. Apparently, not saying anything is not the same as not doing anything.
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Imagine bringing Alexander Hamilton back from the dead and trying to explain to him how a false tweet nearly started a panic on Wall Street last week.
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The market went into a brief selling frenzy when someone hacked into the Associated Press’ Twitter account and tweeted that the White House had been attacked and the president hurt. This happened because computers were selling in a sort of autopilot mode. Apparently, computers are not levelheaded in a crisis — something to remember in case your toilet overflows in sight of your laptop.
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Wall Street investors are really computers? So it’s true what they say about those financiers being heartless.
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In other aviation news, Boeing is set to begin delivery of its 787 soon. But unless Congress solves sequestration, they won’t actually get clearance to take off until some time in 2015.
Jay Evensen is the associate editor of the Deseret News editorial page. Follow him on Twitter @jayevensen.

On Second Thought is a weekly feature that takes a lighthearted look at current events:

Samoa Air has started charging people by their weight. This presents a new option for shy single people on Internet dating sites. From now on, just list your height, eye color and airfare to Apia.
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Maybe the airline can offer aerobics classes at departure gates for those looking for a quick discount.
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An opinion poll found most Americans would not want to pay by weight for their flight, but they sure wish the guy hogging the middle seat next to them would.
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Google has agreed to take Provo’s ill-fated fiber optic system off its hands and provide mostly free Internet for everyone. There are some conditions, but they’re minor. I’m sure people will eventually get used being known as residents of Googleville.
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The FCC received a lot of criticism last week for its proposal to loosen its standards and allow fleeting nudity and obscenity on television. It responded by saying @!&*#!.
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FCC officials apparently worry too many adults feel deprived by the lack of quality, thought-provoking fleeting nudity and obscenity in their entertainment.
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Next month will mark 52 years since then-FCC chairman Newton Minow declared television a “vast wasteland.” All in all, I’d rather have a wasteland than a sewage dump.
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How many times have you heard people say, “That was an OK show, but I wish it had more fleeting obscenities and nudity”?
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NASA announced last week it has discovered two planets that may be ideal for supporting life. The best news? Officials said nothing about intelligent life, meaning these may be ideal for most of us.
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The two planets are next to each other. One is warm like Hawaii. The other is cold like Alaska. If there is life there, I can guess which planet is the most popular.
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The chief scientist in charge of the telescope that found the planets said if they do contain life, “it must be very advanced.” You mean there’s something better than HDTV?
Follow Jay Evensen on Twitter @jayevensen.

Members of both parties said last week they had reached a compromise on requiring background checks for gun purchases. Most gun merchants said they don’t care what background you have on your checks, just that they won’t bounce.
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Meanwhile, a knife-wielding assailant stabbed several people last week at a college near Houston. Get ready for knife-control bills in Congress.
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The Ginsu lobby is already marshaling its forces.
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Santa Clara beat George Mason to win the College Basketball Invitational tournament, which is for those not good enough to make either the NCAA or the NIT. In equally relevant news to most Americans, President Obama unveiled his latest budget proposal.
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Last year, the House and Senate both unanimously rejected Obama’s budget — one of the few moments of true bipartisanship in recent years.
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This time, the president came up with new ideas, such as raising taxes on the rich and spending a lot more.
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Obama counts $167 billion the government never intended to spend as a savings due to a drawdown of war costs, then uses that to fund other projects. He forgot to include the savings from not funding a trip to Saturn and not having to pay ransom to an intergalactic overlord who might threaten our very existence. Think what that could fund.
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Meanwhile, Congress last week scribbled “return to sender” on a plan to end Saturday delivery and sent it back to the U.S. Postal Service.
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Apparently, lawmakers didn’t want to ruin their record of being utterly incapable of considering plausible solutions to any financial crisis.
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J.C. Penney has fired the hotshot CEO it acquired from Apple. It wasn’t his fault. Who know that doing away with sales and telling older shoppers they’re not wanted was a bad business strategy?
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Utah Gov. Gary Herbert left on a two-day trade mission to a Third World country last week. No wait, California is still a state.
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How long will it take before a group of cub scouts wants to turn the landslide at the Bingham Copper mine into the world’s coolest pinewood derby ramp?
Jay Evensen is the associate editor of the Deseret News editorial page. Follow him on Twitter @jayevensen.

"On Second Thought" is a weekly feature that takes a lighthearted look at issues of the day

North Korean leader Kim Jong Un is smitten by NBA players and threatens to go nuclear unless people take him seriously. Hmm. Sounds like he’s taking advice from Kim Kardashian.
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Americans are appalled at now-former Rutgers basketball coach Mike Rice because he shouted abusive things at players and was abusive. Of course. Why can’t today’s coaches be more like those beloved mentors of yore who did those things but knew how to win games?
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Bobby Knight is featured in a television commercial that makes fun of him throwing a chair across the basketball court during a game. Who says it doesn’t pay to lose your temper?
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A new Utah law prohibits teenagers under 18 from using their cell phones while driving. Lawmakers hope the young folks will refrain from such things until they turn 18 and magic fairy dust makes them competent to do it safely.
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Conveniently, no member of the Legislature is 16 or 17 years old.
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The town of Nelson, Ga., made news last week by passing an ordinance requiring all residents to own guns. This is what the Supreme Court started by ruling the health-insurance mandate was constitutional.
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Utah’s notorious “mountain man,” who lived in the wild and broke into several cabins to steal supplies and weapons, was arrested this week. Officials described him as “very chatty.” That happens when you spend years talking to pine trees.
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Rumor has it the mountain man wanted to be caught. Seems he picked Wichita State in his NCAA bracket and he needed a warm place to watch the Final Four.
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Don’t laugh, if it’s true, he could win the paranoid criminal survivalist bracket competition.
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Target decided recently to name the plus size of its “Heather Gray” dresses “Manatee Gray.” Manatees are large, blubbery aquatic mammals often referred to as sea cows. Executives behind this decision may soon be referred to as “former employees.”
Jay Evensen is the associate editor of the Deseret News editorial page. Follow him on Twitter @jayevensen.