Jay Evensen
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On Second Thought for June 3, 2019

5/31/2019

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A lighthearted look at the news of the day:


The Salt Lake area received more than 3.5 inches of rain in May alone, and nearly 11 inches so far this spring. Now I understand why the government is considering letting astronauts land here later this year. This is becoming the perfect place for a splashdown.
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Now that June is here, however, it might be a good time to open your coin purses and leave them on your lawn. The experts say to expect change in the weather.
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It’s OK if you don’t have a coin purse. You can always hope for a rain check.
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If one thing is clear in Washington these days, it is that no one should come dressed as John McCain to the White House this Halloween.
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The New York Times says the White House ordered the Navy to hide the destroyer John S. McCain while the president recently visited Japan, so its name wouldn’t appear in photographs. The president attributed the decision to a “well meaning” subordinate and said he knew nothing about it.
Aren’t modern politics so much nastier than in the past? Just imagine what would have happened if, say, Franklin Roosevelt had removed the name of a political rival from some big project like a dam or something … near Boulder City, Nevada, for instance.
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Congress finally named the Nevada structure Hoover Dam in 1947, reversing FDR’s unofficial “Boulder Dam” moniker. But anyone who has lived in Nevada will tell you the name still depends on your party affiliation. Trump could end that controversy, you know, by buying the whole thing and turning it into a Trump Hotel.
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Robert Mueller is one person who won’t be allowed to stay at a Trump Hotel any time soon. Last week he said the Justice Department prohibits him from charging a sitting president, but that the Constitution provides a different remedy, a word he wouldn’t mention that begins with an “i”. Hmm. Judging by the president’s reaction, that word must be “Insult.”
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On Second Thought for May 20, 2019

5/17/2019

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A lighthearted look at the news of the day:


I don’t know which is more entertaining: Watching the numbers tick away on the Internet’s national debt clock, or watching the numbers tick away in the field of Democratic presidential candidates.
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With New York Mayor Bill de Blasio entering the race last week, the total number of Democrats now is officially higher than all the Democrats in the Utah Legislature, and it’s approaching the state’s average public school class size, which we are consistently told is unwieldy.
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De Blasio started his campaign with a three-minute video called, “Working people first.” Unfortunately, most people were at work and didn’t see have time to see it.
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A recent poll found that 76% of New Yorkers did not want de Blasio to run for president. I’m guessing it’s not because they don’t want to lose him as mayor.
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In his defense, however, de Blasio would need only 24% or so in order to beat out the other 22 candidates.
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Meanwhile, Beto O’Rourke is doing his best to stand out against the competition. Last week he live streamed himself getting a haircut, talking about how important it is to get rid of nasty ear hair. There’s a slogan. Vote for me and I’ll cut the nasty ear hair out of Washington.
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President Trump’s trade war with China already is paying dividends. Some companies are moving operations away from China to places where trade is easier. That’s good news, except they’re not all coming here. Let’s just say the White House is helping to make Mexico great again.
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China, meanwhile, has reduced its holdings of U.S. debt by $20.5 billion. That’s like being at college and having mom and dad cut off your access to their credit cards.
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President Trump last week said he was having a “little squabble” with China. President Xi heard that wrong and immediately sat down with advisers to strategize on ways to get the most triple word scores.
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Taco Bell announced it soon will open a hotel in Florida. I’m hoping guests will have the choice of sleeping on soft sheets or ones made out of crispy Doritos chips.

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