A lighthearted look at the news of the day:

Welcome to Thanksgiving week, that wonderful time when children who have been watching too much cable TV will try to impeach Uncle Ted for hogging all the drumsticks.
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Remember when Black Friday meant doing more than lying in bed telling Alexa what you want?
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Things are getting nasty in Washington. Rumor has it the Thanksgiving turkey may not get pardoned this week. It all depends on whether it squeals like a bird at the impeachment hearings and wants to “gobble” all the publicity.
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Actually, the turkey might not get pardoned anyway. There are far too many turkeys running around Washington as it is.
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The impeachment hearings mean Americans today have something in common with Americans in 1869, when the House held hearings against President Andrew Johnson, the first such hearings in the nation’s history. The only difference is cable TV ratings were much lower back then.
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However, social media was robust in those days, but you had to dress in dinner jackets and hoop skirts, and it could be accessed only at formal parties. Only rarely were people atwitter.
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Utah lawmakers say they’re getting close on tax reform. By that, they mean they just found out that portrait photography, photofinishing and dog grooming — three things they had eagerly taken off the list of services to tax — actually have been taxed for years. 
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The Census Bureau reported last week that Americans are moving less than ever before. That’s bad for moving-van companies. But it’s good for your fitbit, which doesn’t have to count as many steps.
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But if we’re not moving, that means we’re staying put and accumulating more stuff, which means an eventual boon for eBay, which would be good for the economy, which would give everyone  more useless stuff to accumulate, which means there is such a thing as a perpetual motion machine.

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​A lighthearted look at the news of the day:

Michael Bloomberg wants to join the list of Democrats running for president. Why? Because when you’re 77, where else can you go to feel young?
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Worst case scenario, Bloomberg ends up as the younger running mate to either Joe Biden or Bernie Sanders.
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Hey, it beats hanging out with the other 77-year-olds down at the corner cafe, where all they do is complain about politics.
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One interesting note: Most of the serious presidential contenders this year are immune from the “OK, boomer” jokes making the rounds among young people these days. That’s because they’re all older than baby boomers.
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Speaking of politics, the race to become the Republican candidate for governor of Utah is easy to confuse with the race for the Democratic nomination for president. Either one could qualify for its own group insurance policy.
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Some lists include 14 possible Republicans candidates for governor. The primary may come down to which candidate can get not only his or her family, but the family next door, to vote.
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Maybe the impeachment hearings are a giant ruse to distract us all from how the government is set to shut down this week unless there is a budget agreement.
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Americans would like to worry about these things, but too many of them are trying to book their summer vacations to Fitzgerald, Georgia, which soon will be home to a 62-foot rooster that uses 16 tons of steel and plant materials and has an apartment for rent inside. This promises to be the biggest thing since Cawker City, Kansas, scored the world’s largest ball of twine, which weighs 5,000 pounds and stands 8 feet tall. If your timing is right, you could hit the annual twine-a-thon on your way to a night in the chicken, but then what would you do the next summer?
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The mayor is using tax money dedicated to tourism to build the chicken. The whole thing will cost $150,000, which isn’t chicken fee … well, you get the idea.