A lighthearted look at news of the day
Tomorrow is that rare day when Americans can rest assured that at least some of the scary things in life are just hiding the adorable faces of smiling children who want candy.
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Xi Jinping was re-affirmed as China's president last week and had his own political philosophy added to the Chinese constitution. It was a great honor that put him almost on a level with Mao Tse Tung. Some analysts are calling him the most powerful leader in the world, which clearly is another blow to NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell.
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NFL TV ratings are off more by more than 3 million viewers over the last two years, and photos of nearly empty stadiums are making the rounds on social media. In China, people get paid to be part of studio audiences at popular shows, displaying the proper emotions and reacting with enthusiasm. Just saying — there are ways Goodell could make it into our Constitution yet, and maybe save the Cleveland Browns at the same time.
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Meanwhile, in another sport, Cubs fans have begun the countdown to their next World Series title in 2124.
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The only question left for Cubs fans — who last year celebrated their team's first championship since 1908 — is which ridiculous and random stadium event they should turn into a curse that explains futility.
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Last week in Washington was just more business as usual, with partisan bickering getting in the way of any real solutions — and I'm just talking about Republicans attacking the Republican president.
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#alterthedaycarestaff became a trending hashtag after Sen. Bob Corker, R-Tenn., used it to get back at Trump for, among other things, tweeting that he was an incompetent head of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee. Meanwhile, frustrated Democrats are thinking of suing the GOP for stealing their best lines.
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President Trump last week allowed the release of thousands of documents related to the assassination of John F. Kennedy nearly 54 years ago. Unfortunately for the president, those files clearly show Ted Cruz' father had been temporarily abducted by aliens at the time.
Tomorrow is that rare day when Americans can rest assured that at least some of the scary things in life are just hiding the adorable faces of smiling children who want candy.
---
Xi Jinping was re-affirmed as China's president last week and had his own political philosophy added to the Chinese constitution. It was a great honor that put him almost on a level with Mao Tse Tung. Some analysts are calling him the most powerful leader in the world, which clearly is another blow to NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell.
---
NFL TV ratings are off more by more than 3 million viewers over the last two years, and photos of nearly empty stadiums are making the rounds on social media. In China, people get paid to be part of studio audiences at popular shows, displaying the proper emotions and reacting with enthusiasm. Just saying — there are ways Goodell could make it into our Constitution yet, and maybe save the Cleveland Browns at the same time.
---
Meanwhile, in another sport, Cubs fans have begun the countdown to their next World Series title in 2124.
---
The only question left for Cubs fans — who last year celebrated their team's first championship since 1908 — is which ridiculous and random stadium event they should turn into a curse that explains futility.
---
Last week in Washington was just more business as usual, with partisan bickering getting in the way of any real solutions — and I'm just talking about Republicans attacking the Republican president.
---
#alterthedaycarestaff became a trending hashtag after Sen. Bob Corker, R-Tenn., used it to get back at Trump for, among other things, tweeting that he was an incompetent head of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee. Meanwhile, frustrated Democrats are thinking of suing the GOP for stealing their best lines.
---
President Trump last week allowed the release of thousands of documents related to the assassination of John F. Kennedy nearly 54 years ago. Unfortunately for the president, those files clearly show Ted Cruz' father had been temporarily abducted by aliens at the time.
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