A lighthearted look at news of the day:
Good news! If you’re just waking up, you may not have broken all your New Year’s resolutions yet.
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Actually, the website Wallethub ranked Salt Lake City as one of the best cities in the nation for keeping resolutions. That’s probably because people here tend to actually remember whether they made any rash promises at midnight New Year’s Eve.
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The trick to a good resolution is to make it achievable. For instance, I’m sure I can reach my goal of gaining 20 pounds this year, perhaps by summer; or perhaps even by this evening.
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In addition to resolutions, a lot of people right now are making predictions for the future. I predict Harvey Weinstein will remain unemployed.
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Because New Year’s predictions can be tricky, it’s best not to set a time limit. For instance, one well-known figure predicted at the start of 1968 that the Vietnam War would end. Sure enough, it has. Brilliant!
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In that vein, I predict Russian President Vladimir Putin’s reign will end — but not before he’s re-elected in 2018.
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Putin’s only real opponent this year probably won’t be allowed on the ballot because of a criminal conviction. In Russia, when political leaders chant, “Lock him up,” it’s more than just a campaign slogan.
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When they look back on 2017 some day, historians may point to one event as pivotal to the eventual downfall of civilization — Twitter doubling the character limit on tweets.
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The tweets we were getting at 140 characters were so compelling and wonderful that doubling that limit made life twice as good — said nobody ever, except perhaps a certain you-know-who with the bully pulpit of all twitter accounts.
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People say Donald Trump used Twitter in 2017 the way Franklin Roosevelt used fireside chats in the ‘30s. That would be true if Roosevelt had broadcast bits of his chats at random times day and night and called Hitler, “Little mustache man.”
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Another big development in 2017: One company began implanting chips under the skin of its employees, allowing them to unlock doors with the wave of a hand. Look for this trend to expand, although it’s uncertain whether these chips are compatible with the ones so many of us already have on our shoulders.
Good news! If you’re just waking up, you may not have broken all your New Year’s resolutions yet.
---
Actually, the website Wallethub ranked Salt Lake City as one of the best cities in the nation for keeping resolutions. That’s probably because people here tend to actually remember whether they made any rash promises at midnight New Year’s Eve.
---
The trick to a good resolution is to make it achievable. For instance, I’m sure I can reach my goal of gaining 20 pounds this year, perhaps by summer; or perhaps even by this evening.
---
In addition to resolutions, a lot of people right now are making predictions for the future. I predict Harvey Weinstein will remain unemployed.
---
Because New Year’s predictions can be tricky, it’s best not to set a time limit. For instance, one well-known figure predicted at the start of 1968 that the Vietnam War would end. Sure enough, it has. Brilliant!
---
In that vein, I predict Russian President Vladimir Putin’s reign will end — but not before he’s re-elected in 2018.
---
Putin’s only real opponent this year probably won’t be allowed on the ballot because of a criminal conviction. In Russia, when political leaders chant, “Lock him up,” it’s more than just a campaign slogan.
---
When they look back on 2017 some day, historians may point to one event as pivotal to the eventual downfall of civilization — Twitter doubling the character limit on tweets.
---
The tweets we were getting at 140 characters were so compelling and wonderful that doubling that limit made life twice as good — said nobody ever, except perhaps a certain you-know-who with the bully pulpit of all twitter accounts.
---
People say Donald Trump used Twitter in 2017 the way Franklin Roosevelt used fireside chats in the ‘30s. That would be true if Roosevelt had broadcast bits of his chats at random times day and night and called Hitler, “Little mustache man.”
---
Another big development in 2017: One company began implanting chips under the skin of its employees, allowing them to unlock doors with the wave of a hand. Look for this trend to expand, although it’s uncertain whether these chips are compatible with the ones so many of us already have on our shoulders.
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