A lighthearted look at news of the day
Google's parent company, Alphabet, wants to build a new city. An official told the Financial Times the city would be "of sufficient size and scale that it can be a laboratory for innovation on an integrated basis." It also would be extremely easy to learn about, unless you're using Bing.
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Alphabet hopes its new city will pioneer ways to protect the environment. That's a nice sentiment, until the people of the new city decide they've had enough of that and elect a mayor who lets the good times roll and gives away half the tax base to get an NFL team.
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Meanwhile, another high-tech giant, Amazon, has set off a scramble among cities willing to give up just about anything — all their taxes, endangered plants (Tucson gifted Amazon a saguaro cactus) or anything else of value — to be chosen for its second headquarters. I'm sure the future residents of Google-town can't wait to incorporate so they can get in on the bidding.
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President Trump told the United Nations last week that, if provoked, he would destroy North Korea. Apparently, his aides talked him out of pounding his shoe on the lectern and promising "we will bury you!"
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President Trump referred to North Korean leader Kim Jong-Un as "rocket man." This is known in diplomatic circles as "playing the Elton John card."
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According to the Elton John scale of diplomatic language, calling someone "rocket man" is one step below "tiny dancer." Things will get serious if Trump tells Kim "I'd just allow a fragment of your life to wander free."
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Elton John diplomacy comes in handy when dealing with other issues, too, such as global warming. "All this science I don't understand …"
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All in all, the Elton John scale of escalation is much more diplomatic than the AC/DC scale, which tends to put both sides on a highway to you know where.
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BYU has written a new grammar rule. It goes like this: "'i' before 'e', except in caffeine."
Google's parent company, Alphabet, wants to build a new city. An official told the Financial Times the city would be "of sufficient size and scale that it can be a laboratory for innovation on an integrated basis." It also would be extremely easy to learn about, unless you're using Bing.
---
Alphabet hopes its new city will pioneer ways to protect the environment. That's a nice sentiment, until the people of the new city decide they've had enough of that and elect a mayor who lets the good times roll and gives away half the tax base to get an NFL team.
---
Meanwhile, another high-tech giant, Amazon, has set off a scramble among cities willing to give up just about anything — all their taxes, endangered plants (Tucson gifted Amazon a saguaro cactus) or anything else of value — to be chosen for its second headquarters. I'm sure the future residents of Google-town can't wait to incorporate so they can get in on the bidding.
---
President Trump told the United Nations last week that, if provoked, he would destroy North Korea. Apparently, his aides talked him out of pounding his shoe on the lectern and promising "we will bury you!"
---
President Trump referred to North Korean leader Kim Jong-Un as "rocket man." This is known in diplomatic circles as "playing the Elton John card."
---
According to the Elton John scale of diplomatic language, calling someone "rocket man" is one step below "tiny dancer." Things will get serious if Trump tells Kim "I'd just allow a fragment of your life to wander free."
---
Elton John diplomacy comes in handy when dealing with other issues, too, such as global warming. "All this science I don't understand …"
---
All in all, the Elton John scale of escalation is much more diplomatic than the AC/DC scale, which tends to put both sides on a highway to you know where.
---
BYU has written a new grammar rule. It goes like this: "'i' before 'e', except in caffeine."
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