A lighthearted look at news of the day:
Last Saturday was the autumnal equinox. That’s the day when the wildfires in Utah change to a more amber and yellow glow.
---
I wouldn’t say it’s been a bad year for fires in Utah, but word has it Smokey Bear is looking for a new career as a backup mascot for the Jazz.
---
Utah’s kindergartners started school this month. They’re so cute as they enter classrooms for the first time, all ready to learn words they may never have heard before, like, “rain” and “cloud.”
---
In Florida, giant bundles containing 5-kilo bricks of marijuana have been washing ashore on sandy beaches. Tourists were heard to remark, “When they said to be careful with high tides, we never imagined this.”
---
The Washington Post said when sheriff’s deputies arrived at the Florida beach where marijuana had appeared, they found one man standing with 11 pounds of the stuff in his hand. He told them he was just holding it in safekeeping for their arrival. They thanked him with a criminal charge of possession and failure to think of an intelligent excuse.
---
Last week, Republican Sen. John Kennedy said Democrats had turned the Brett Kavanaugh confirmation hearings into an “intergalactic freak show.” Democratic Sen. Cory Booker took offense to that. “I am Spartacus!” he said.
---
Aliens all across the universe, meanwhile, are thinking of suing for defamation.
---
Kennedy said he’s “fairly confident” the Founding Fathers didn’t intend for confirmation hearings to work this way. Actually, I’m fairly confident if the Founding Fathers could see Washington today, they might be tempted to say, “Maybe King George wasn’t so bad, after all.”
---
A flight from Mumbai to Jaipur in India had to make an emergency landing after crewmembers forgot to turn on cabin pressure. Wouldn’t you expect that to be first on the checklist, right before reminders to arrange little bags of peanuts and pretzels on a cart that’s one millimeter narrower than the width of the aisle?
Last Saturday was the autumnal equinox. That’s the day when the wildfires in Utah change to a more amber and yellow glow.
---
I wouldn’t say it’s been a bad year for fires in Utah, but word has it Smokey Bear is looking for a new career as a backup mascot for the Jazz.
---
Utah’s kindergartners started school this month. They’re so cute as they enter classrooms for the first time, all ready to learn words they may never have heard before, like, “rain” and “cloud.”
---
In Florida, giant bundles containing 5-kilo bricks of marijuana have been washing ashore on sandy beaches. Tourists were heard to remark, “When they said to be careful with high tides, we never imagined this.”
---
The Washington Post said when sheriff’s deputies arrived at the Florida beach where marijuana had appeared, they found one man standing with 11 pounds of the stuff in his hand. He told them he was just holding it in safekeeping for their arrival. They thanked him with a criminal charge of possession and failure to think of an intelligent excuse.
---
Last week, Republican Sen. John Kennedy said Democrats had turned the Brett Kavanaugh confirmation hearings into an “intergalactic freak show.” Democratic Sen. Cory Booker took offense to that. “I am Spartacus!” he said.
---
Aliens all across the universe, meanwhile, are thinking of suing for defamation.
---
Kennedy said he’s “fairly confident” the Founding Fathers didn’t intend for confirmation hearings to work this way. Actually, I’m fairly confident if the Founding Fathers could see Washington today, they might be tempted to say, “Maybe King George wasn’t so bad, after all.”
---
A flight from Mumbai to Jaipur in India had to make an emergency landing after crewmembers forgot to turn on cabin pressure. Wouldn’t you expect that to be first on the checklist, right before reminders to arrange little bags of peanuts and pretzels on a cart that’s one millimeter narrower than the width of the aisle?
RSS Feed
