A lighthearted look at news of the day:
President Obama has said the U.S. military will not become Iraq’s air force. Instead, it will just fly aircraft throughout the Middle East, battling Iraq’s enemies and protecting its borders.
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The U.S. isn’t Iraq’s air force kind of in the way Iraqis are not America’s taxi drivers.
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In 2007, Obama said a president could not authorize a military attack without congressional approval unless there was an imminent threat to the nation. Now he says he is going to use the authorization Congress gave George W. Bush in 2001 to launch attacks on the group known as the Islamic State in Iraq and Syria. Maybe it all depends on what the definition of “is” is.
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In order to defeat ISIS, the United States has been forced to elicit help from Iran. If the two countries had a Facebook page, their relationship status would be, “It’s really complicated.”
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If the latest round of sanctions don’t keep Russia out of Ukraine, President Obama has vowed to force Vladimir Putin to sell his NBA team.
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Scientists say the hole in the ozone layer is beginning to close. That’s the good news. The bad news is it is closing, in part, because of the greenhouse gasses that are causing global warming. This is a conundrum that might leave even Al Gore speechless.
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The other unfortunate irony is that ISIS holds the only solution to both ozone depletion and global warming, which is to annihilate all modern civilization.
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A truck accident in San Diego last week led to thousands of oranges being spilled and broken on the highway. I’m surprised this didn’t get more live coverage. The last time OJ rolled slowly down a California highway, the nation was spellbound.
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Meanwhile, over at NFL headquarters, the league that instantly scrutinizes replays of controversial plays dozens of times a week is trying to explain why it took several months to look at a video showing a star player violently attacking his fiancé. Upon further review, some heads may have to roll.
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Apple unveiled a new iPhone last week. Company officials should have called it the Geezer Phone. It’s bigger than the previous version because most of us can’t see the smaller type any more and we’re wearing bigger pants with pockets large enough to store the thing.
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The new iPhone has an Apple Pay function, allowing users to spend more of the money they don’t have for things they don’t need.
President Obama has said the U.S. military will not become Iraq’s air force. Instead, it will just fly aircraft throughout the Middle East, battling Iraq’s enemies and protecting its borders.
---
The U.S. isn’t Iraq’s air force kind of in the way Iraqis are not America’s taxi drivers.
---
In 2007, Obama said a president could not authorize a military attack without congressional approval unless there was an imminent threat to the nation. Now he says he is going to use the authorization Congress gave George W. Bush in 2001 to launch attacks on the group known as the Islamic State in Iraq and Syria. Maybe it all depends on what the definition of “is” is.
---
In order to defeat ISIS, the United States has been forced to elicit help from Iran. If the two countries had a Facebook page, their relationship status would be, “It’s really complicated.”
---
If the latest round of sanctions don’t keep Russia out of Ukraine, President Obama has vowed to force Vladimir Putin to sell his NBA team.
---
Scientists say the hole in the ozone layer is beginning to close. That’s the good news. The bad news is it is closing, in part, because of the greenhouse gasses that are causing global warming. This is a conundrum that might leave even Al Gore speechless.
---
The other unfortunate irony is that ISIS holds the only solution to both ozone depletion and global warming, which is to annihilate all modern civilization.
---
A truck accident in San Diego last week led to thousands of oranges being spilled and broken on the highway. I’m surprised this didn’t get more live coverage. The last time OJ rolled slowly down a California highway, the nation was spellbound.
---
Meanwhile, over at NFL headquarters, the league that instantly scrutinizes replays of controversial plays dozens of times a week is trying to explain why it took several months to look at a video showing a star player violently attacking his fiancé. Upon further review, some heads may have to roll.
---
Apple unveiled a new iPhone last week. Company officials should have called it the Geezer Phone. It’s bigger than the previous version because most of us can’t see the smaller type any more and we’re wearing bigger pants with pockets large enough to store the thing.
---
The new iPhone has an Apple Pay function, allowing users to spend more of the money they don’t have for things they don’t need.
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