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On Second Thought for Sept. 1, 2014

8/29/2014

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By Jay Evensen

Deseret News

A lighthearted look at news of the day:

President Obama has a new foreign policy motto: Speak softly and carry a golf club.

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The president took a lot of criticism for issuing a strong statement in response to the beheading of an American by a terrorist group, then hurrying back to the golf course. It put a whole new twist on the idea of coming in below par.

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If this is Obama’s new foreign policy motto, however, it isn’t clear which club the president might use, although he does seem to be puttering around in the Middle East lately.

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Actually, Iraq and Syria are starting to look like one large sand trap.

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Note to incoming college freshman: If your school offers a major in transit authority administration, you may want to sign up. A newly released audit of the Utah Transit Authority found that its general manager makes $402,187 per year. And that doesn’t even include his free transit pass.

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Perhaps something is wrong with your transit agency when pro athletes begin to aspire to work there some day so they can make real money.

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Trying to cash in on the enormously successful ice-bucket challenge to raise money for the disease ALS, people in Gaza have started dumping buckets of rubble on their heads to raise support for Palestinian statehood. It’s a guy thing.

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The rubble challenge might catch on as a way for losing football teams to honor their coach at the end of a game.

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I recently riled a lot of pot smokers by writing a column that attacked the legalization of the drug in Washington and Colorado. The nice thing about making Marijuana smokers angry is that an hour later they have forgotten all about it.

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President Obama considered Warren Buffett an ally during the 2012 election when the billionaire agreed with him on the need to tax the wealthy more. Now I’m guessing he wouldn’t even buy him a french fry at Burger King.

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Buffett is behind a deal by Burger King to buy Canada’s doughnut chain Tim Horton, allowing the hamburger chain to move its headquarters to Canada and pay less in corporate taxes. Buffett apparently just wanted a hamburger, but he became intrigued when he saw the slogan, “Have it your way.”

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Frankly, I feel a lot safer with that creepy guy in a king’s mask living across the border.

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