Jay Evensen
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On Second Thought for Oct. 12, 2015

10/8/2015

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​A lighthearted look at news of the day:
 
Welcome to the Cold War, version 2.0.
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Russia has begun an assault on Syria that seems to target the rebels the United States supports. Meanwhile, a Russian missile accidentally landed in Iran last week. This was shortly after a U.S. missile hit a medical center in Afghanistan. The 10 words people in the Middle East fear most? “We’re from a foreign country and we’re here to help.”
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The FBI dug up more than $500,000 in the backyard of a home once owned by the driver of an armored truck. Always be suspicious of a neighbor who, when he gets ready to go out, says, “Let me see if I can dig up some money, first.”
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Toyota announced this week it will have a driverless car ready for sale in 2020. Volkswagen, meanwhile, plans to have a car by then that can convince inspectors it is driverless.
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Speaking of Toyota, ISIS apparently has an affinity for its pickup trucks, which are featured prominently in videos prepared by the terrorist group. The company’s slogan is, “Let’s go places.” Just to be clear, and as a PR move, it may want to ad the phrase, “in the civilized world.”
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The U.S. government wants to know where ISIS got all those Toyotas. My guess is, somewhere in the Middle East the salesman of the year is hiding under his desk.
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If you think dickering over a car’s price with terrorists is tough, try being the repo man who has get all those pickup trucks back when ISIS defaults on its five-year loans.
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A man in Montana survived a grizzly attack by shoving his arm down the animal’s mouth, triggering the bear’s gag reflex. The strategy worked because large animals have sensitive gag reflexes, kind of like viewers of televised political debates.
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Despite laws requiring secrecy, the former secretary of the Nobel Committee in Norway has published a book revealing the dirty laundry of behind-the-scenes struggles to select Peace Prize winners. Needless to say, the committee is upset. When the Nobel Committee is at war, that’s a bad sign for the world.
 
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