A lighthearted look at news of the day:
Republicans and Democrats seem ready to allow the Keystone Pipeline to expand to the Gulf Coast. But President Obama won’t hear of it. Maybe he worries about keeping the pipeline safe. After all, the Keystone Cops already are busy guarding the White House.
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It turns out Pepsi has perfected a new drink formula that combines the taste of Doritos with Mountain Dew. If that isn’t a recipe for an energy crisis, I don’t know what is.
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Millions of college students heard the news from Pepsi and marveled at how someone could put the perfect breakfast into a can.
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Chinese hackers apparently broke into U.S. federal weather computers recently and no one noticed for almost a month. In the meantime, the nation lost millions of dollars in spoiled picnics.
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Next, the Postal Service claimed its computers had been hacked by China. But the joke was on the Chinese. All they found on the other end was a lot more debt for them to cover.
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Before leaving a summit meeting in China last week, the president was roundly criticized for chewing gum at an Asian Pacific Economic Cooperation meeting. Apparently, he didn’t bring enough for everybody.
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As part of the summit meeting in China, Obama, Russian President Vladimir Putin and Chinese President Xi Jinping put on traditional purple shirts. As you can imagine, it took a lot of behind-the-scenes negotiating just to get Putin to wear any shirt at all.
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The European Space Agency landed a probe on a comet last week. The probe was the size of a washing machine, which at first had the comet’s filthy inhabitants excited.
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A 16-year-old young man who works at a Target in Texas became an instant celebrity recently when a young woman who thought he was cute secretly took his picture and put it on the Internet. Now he has agents wanting to land him modeling contracts and television deals, without him ever having had to demonstrate any real talent. The Kardashians and Paris Hilton must be appalled.
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When Dr. Craig Spencer checked out of the hospital last week, the United States was Ebola free for a few hours. But then an infected surgeon who was working in Sierra Leon flew in for treatment. I wouldn’t say the nation’s new Ebola Czar has little to do, but rumor has it he ordered a wide screen TV and a few cases of Pepsi’s new Dorito-Mountain Dew drinks for his office.
Republicans and Democrats seem ready to allow the Keystone Pipeline to expand to the Gulf Coast. But President Obama won’t hear of it. Maybe he worries about keeping the pipeline safe. After all, the Keystone Cops already are busy guarding the White House.
---
It turns out Pepsi has perfected a new drink formula that combines the taste of Doritos with Mountain Dew. If that isn’t a recipe for an energy crisis, I don’t know what is.
---
Millions of college students heard the news from Pepsi and marveled at how someone could put the perfect breakfast into a can.
---
Chinese hackers apparently broke into U.S. federal weather computers recently and no one noticed for almost a month. In the meantime, the nation lost millions of dollars in spoiled picnics.
---
Next, the Postal Service claimed its computers had been hacked by China. But the joke was on the Chinese. All they found on the other end was a lot more debt for them to cover.
---
Before leaving a summit meeting in China last week, the president was roundly criticized for chewing gum at an Asian Pacific Economic Cooperation meeting. Apparently, he didn’t bring enough for everybody.
---
As part of the summit meeting in China, Obama, Russian President Vladimir Putin and Chinese President Xi Jinping put on traditional purple shirts. As you can imagine, it took a lot of behind-the-scenes negotiating just to get Putin to wear any shirt at all.
---
The European Space Agency landed a probe on a comet last week. The probe was the size of a washing machine, which at first had the comet’s filthy inhabitants excited.
---
A 16-year-old young man who works at a Target in Texas became an instant celebrity recently when a young woman who thought he was cute secretly took his picture and put it on the Internet. Now he has agents wanting to land him modeling contracts and television deals, without him ever having had to demonstrate any real talent. The Kardashians and Paris Hilton must be appalled.
---
When Dr. Craig Spencer checked out of the hospital last week, the United States was Ebola free for a few hours. But then an infected surgeon who was working in Sierra Leon flew in for treatment. I wouldn’t say the nation’s new Ebola Czar has little to do, but rumor has it he ordered a wide screen TV and a few cases of Pepsi’s new Dorito-Mountain Dew drinks for his office.
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