Jay Evensen
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On Second Thought for Nov. 16, 2015

11/12/2015

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​A lighthearted look at news of the day:
 
SeaWorld in San Diego decided to let Shamu go last week. Times are tough, especially for large mammals looking for work. Have you ever tried to buy a month’s worth of plankton on unemployment?
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At about the same time Shamu was let go, a professor at Macquarie University in Sydney, Australia published a study that shows fish are sentient beings that can feel pain. Apparently, eating healthy requires you to have no conscience.
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Fish have feelings, cows can’t spell very well but they don’t want you to eat beef … if some scientist tells me artichokes really have hearts and bananas don’t like it when they find themselves appealing, I’ll have to survive on a diet of milkshakes and candy bars. Come to think of it, most Americans would go for that.
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Harvard archivists are making several old documents available online. One of them is a letter from a student, written in 1743, asking his father for more money. He says he needs to buy belt buckles for 15 shillings, needs another 15 to print his “theses,” and could use a little extra for “any manner of entertainment.” As a side note, he also said he was highly insulted by his roommate’s decision to dress as pirate for Halloween.
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A Yale student went viral recently for her tirade against a faculty member who suggested students be tolerant of, or simply ignore, Halloween costumes they might find offensive. Honestly, if kids are that easily offended, how are we ever going to introduce them to the crop of 2016 presidential hopefuls?
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Getting back to that 1743 Harvard student, if college kids today would ask their parents for money in letters (or emails) that begin, “Pray Sir, send me money …” and end, “Your obedient son,” they might actually get somewhere. Either that or Dad would drive to Cambridge with the family psychiatrist.
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There are still so many Republican presidential candidates in the field that the debates would go much smoother if they divided into two teams and competed to see which side could best answer the questions.
 
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