A lighthearted look at news of the day
In Las Vegas, the first self-driving shuttle bus went into service last week and promptly got into a collision with a delivery truck. As officers hooked a breathalyzer up to the bus's exhaust system, witnesses heard the engine's hard drive mutter something about a cute little video poker machine that led him to this.
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Actually, authorities blamed the accident on the truck driver, a human. So that's how it's going to be in the future, folks. If you're don't have RAM and a modem, it's your fault. And the worst thing is when the self-driving cars start yelling, "Where were you programmed? In a barn?"
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Former President Barack Obama was summoned to jury duty last week. He was quickly dismissed. It seems that once you lose the power to pardon people, no one wants you anymore.
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For his part, Obama was just happy to be there and was reportedly excited to plan how to spend the $17 he earned.
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Really, though, it's inspiring to know that former presidents are treated just like anyone else when it comes to civic duties. Well, just like anyone else who shows up with a full security detail and TV cameras in tow, that is.
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Seems the new iPhone is automatically changing the stand-alone letter "I" to weird symbols. This is Apple's way of making us a less self-centered nation.
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President Trump visited China last week. He was intrigued after a tour of the Forbidden City in Beijing and reportedly left wondering how he could make Washington forbidden — to reporters, Democrats, establishment Republicans and special prosecutors.
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Sure, people are focused right now on threats from North Korea and on the future of Syria, but let's not overlook the tensions unfolding on Sen. Rand Paul's lawn.
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As the story goes, Rand Paul was calmly mowing his lawn when his neighbor, an anesthesiologist who spends his days trying to keep people from feeling pain, allegedly tackled him and broke six of his ribs. Details are fuzzy, but some neighbors said the two men had argued over lawn clippings and leaves. CNN quoted a GOP strategist who chided East coast journalists for being unaware of "the leaf blower wars that take place all across Middle America." Apparently, we can add to the mottos "e pluribus unum" and "don't tread on me" with "leaf me alone."
In Las Vegas, the first self-driving shuttle bus went into service last week and promptly got into a collision with a delivery truck. As officers hooked a breathalyzer up to the bus's exhaust system, witnesses heard the engine's hard drive mutter something about a cute little video poker machine that led him to this.
---
Actually, authorities blamed the accident on the truck driver, a human. So that's how it's going to be in the future, folks. If you're don't have RAM and a modem, it's your fault. And the worst thing is when the self-driving cars start yelling, "Where were you programmed? In a barn?"
---
Former President Barack Obama was summoned to jury duty last week. He was quickly dismissed. It seems that once you lose the power to pardon people, no one wants you anymore.
---
For his part, Obama was just happy to be there and was reportedly excited to plan how to spend the $17 he earned.
---
Really, though, it's inspiring to know that former presidents are treated just like anyone else when it comes to civic duties. Well, just like anyone else who shows up with a full security detail and TV cameras in tow, that is.
---
Seems the new iPhone is automatically changing the stand-alone letter "I" to weird symbols. This is Apple's way of making us a less self-centered nation.
---
President Trump visited China last week. He was intrigued after a tour of the Forbidden City in Beijing and reportedly left wondering how he could make Washington forbidden — to reporters, Democrats, establishment Republicans and special prosecutors.
---
Sure, people are focused right now on threats from North Korea and on the future of Syria, but let's not overlook the tensions unfolding on Sen. Rand Paul's lawn.
---
As the story goes, Rand Paul was calmly mowing his lawn when his neighbor, an anesthesiologist who spends his days trying to keep people from feeling pain, allegedly tackled him and broke six of his ribs. Details are fuzzy, but some neighbors said the two men had argued over lawn clippings and leaves. CNN quoted a GOP strategist who chided East coast journalists for being unaware of "the leaf blower wars that take place all across Middle America." Apparently, we can add to the mottos "e pluribus unum" and "don't tread on me" with "leaf me alone."
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