A lighthearted look at news of the day
Is everyone in a holiday mood? Are you ready for some caroling? OK, EVERYBODY SING! A-one, a-two, a-three!
You better watch out, you better not cry, you better not tweet, I’m telling you why
Donald Trump is coming to town.
He’s making a list by the light of his lamp; gonna shrink Bears Ears to a postage stamp;
Donald Trump is coming to town.
He reads you when you’re tweeting; he’ll insult you at a glance;
The protesters will come unglued
When down State Street he will prance …
Oh, you better watch out, you better not cry, you better not tweet or even frown,
Our monuments are all coming down.
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President Trump is scheduled to visit Salt Lake City today to announce that the Bears Ears National Monument will be reduced in size. From now on, it will be known as the Bears Nose Hair National Monument.
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Supporters say the smaller size is a balanced solution, and it’s just a coincidence that it’s the same size as a Trump hotel.
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The president also is expected to announce a big reduction in the 20-year-old Grand Staircase-Escalante National Monument created by President Clinton. It now will be known as the Small Stepstool-Escalante National Monument.
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Meanwhile, the White House has put a nativity scene on the front lawn for Christmas. It’s not quite complete, however. Seems that, in all of Washington, no one could find three wise men.
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A high school teacher in Indiana was escorted from class and arrested last week after a student took a photo of her allegedly snorting cocaine in a dark corner of the classroom. In her defense, parent-teacher conferences were coming up.
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The school superintendent expressed shock at the arrest, saying the teacher “was popular with the students.” Their only complaint was that she was a little obsessed with them staying within straight lines on their papers.
---
I don’t doubt the teacher was popular. But, as any sober teacher will tell you, the ability to be popular among high school students is nothing to sniff at.
Is everyone in a holiday mood? Are you ready for some caroling? OK, EVERYBODY SING! A-one, a-two, a-three!
You better watch out, you better not cry, you better not tweet, I’m telling you why
Donald Trump is coming to town.
He’s making a list by the light of his lamp; gonna shrink Bears Ears to a postage stamp;
Donald Trump is coming to town.
He reads you when you’re tweeting; he’ll insult you at a glance;
The protesters will come unglued
When down State Street he will prance …
Oh, you better watch out, you better not cry, you better not tweet or even frown,
Our monuments are all coming down.
---
President Trump is scheduled to visit Salt Lake City today to announce that the Bears Ears National Monument will be reduced in size. From now on, it will be known as the Bears Nose Hair National Monument.
---
Supporters say the smaller size is a balanced solution, and it’s just a coincidence that it’s the same size as a Trump hotel.
---
The president also is expected to announce a big reduction in the 20-year-old Grand Staircase-Escalante National Monument created by President Clinton. It now will be known as the Small Stepstool-Escalante National Monument.
---
Meanwhile, the White House has put a nativity scene on the front lawn for Christmas. It’s not quite complete, however. Seems that, in all of Washington, no one could find three wise men.
---
A high school teacher in Indiana was escorted from class and arrested last week after a student took a photo of her allegedly snorting cocaine in a dark corner of the classroom. In her defense, parent-teacher conferences were coming up.
---
The school superintendent expressed shock at the arrest, saying the teacher “was popular with the students.” Their only complaint was that she was a little obsessed with them staying within straight lines on their papers.
---
I don’t doubt the teacher was popular. But, as any sober teacher will tell you, the ability to be popular among high school students is nothing to sniff at.
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