After riots in much of the city, the Baltimore Orioles played a game last week in front of an empty stadium. The silence was so eerie that Democratic presidential candidate Martin O’Malley showed up, thinking he’d stumbled onto a rally for his campaign.
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The Orioles and White Sox played a complete game in only 2 hours and 3 minutes. Finally, Major League Baseball has figured out how to make games shorter — eliminate fans.
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The game came close to answering the age-old question: If a baseball game is played in a forest and no one sees it, does it still qualify as a pastime?
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Luckily for those who hate irony, the teams did not end up in a bench-clearing brawl.
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In Britain, a 102-year-old man just announced his engagement to a 91-year-old woman. The couple acknowledged their age difference could be a problem, but they’re going to give it a try if their parents approve.
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The couple would have gotten married sooner, but 102-year-old George Kirby wanted to be sure he was stable enough to support a family, first.
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The National Center for Education Statistics released the latest results from a nationwide test of 8th graders last week. The news wasn’t good. On the geography portion, only 27 percent scored above “proficient.” The rest couldn’t locate the testing center.
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The history scores weren’t any better. To be fair, though, 8th graders today have a lot more history to learn than the rest of us did when we were young.
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Microsoft has come out with an online tool that will guess the age and gender of anyone, based on a photograph. This is proof again that computers can get away with things mere mortals would never dare.
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As far as parlor games go, this is one better handled by a 1960s-era computer, such as the robot on the old TV show “Lost in Space.” Danger, Will Robinson!
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I uploaded a photo of Hillary Clinton and the app guessed she was 55. Maybe Microsoft programmers are defter than I thought.