Jay Evensen
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On Second Thought for May 14, 2018

5/14/2018

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​A lighthearted look at news of the day:
 
Mark Zuckerberg is funding a massive project to locate intelligent life in outer space. Apparently, Facebook has run out of people to exploit on earth.
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Oh sure, if he steals the personal data of extraterrestrial beings, Zuckerberg might end up being summoned to testify before some intergalactic congressional committee. But that would be light years away.
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I know what you’re thinking, but it really would be useless to look for intelligent life here on earth, especially since Zuckerberg gave us all those cat videos to watch.
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President Trump has decided to tear up President Obama’s nuclear deal with Iran. Members of Congress reacted with outrage. Granted, it wasn’t enough outrage to ever cause them to ratify President Obama’s deal and make it a treaty, as the Constitution requires, but the display of noncommittal emotion was impressive.
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Rudy Giuliani has been going on all the news channels, saying outrageous, contradictory things that seem to go off-script and often don’t stand up to fact-checking. He has been taking all the attention away from the president. The Trump administration is clearly annoyed. And who wouldn’t be annoyed at discovering that the man you hired to be your attorney should have been tabbed to be vice president?
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Connecticut has become the 11th state to pledge all its electoral votes from now on to the candidate who wins the nationwide popular vote. I’ve got a better idea. That groundhog, Punxsutawney Phil, should be put to work more than one day a year. Let’s drag him out in November every four years and see what happens. If he’s scared of his own shadow, we all move to Canada.
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Of course, if we did that we’d run the risk that Russia would start feeding Phil tainted berries, or that someone would funnel money through a Russian oligarch to an attorney who would make sure the little rodent keeps his mouth shut.
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