A lighthearted look at news of the day:
A federal appeals court in New York ruled last week that the government’s massive telephone surveillance program is illegal. Coming soon to Bluffdale — the world’s largest computer discount warehouse.
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Bluffdale is home to the largest data-gathering site for the National Security Agency. It’s a place where “listening skills” is more than just a good thing to list on a resume.
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I’m not saying the folks at the Bluffdale NSA center know everything, but the place doesn’t even have a phone number. Just think to yourself that you want to talk to people there. Someone will get back to you.
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Conservatives won in Britain’s elections last week. How were the results viewed on this side of the ocean? Rumor has it Ted Cruz is now working on a Cockney accent.
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The U.S. economy picked up in April. Unemployment is down and hiring is up. It seems the only folks worried about inflation these days are the New England Patriots.
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The NFL has concluded that the Patriots likely deliberately let some air out of footballs used in last season’s AFC championship game in order to help the quarterback grip the ball. Now the debate has begun over a proper punishment. My suggestion? Force the team to play all of next season with balls that have been completely deflated and run over by a steamroller.
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The Department of Homeland Security says illegal border crossings are down 28 percent during the first six months of the fiscal year. Word has it talk radio hosts, suddenly speechless, will stage a strike until those numbers increase.
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Meanwhile, Cinco de Mayo has become such a popular holiday in the United States that border patrol agents allegedly wouldn’t let anyone cross into the country on that day unless they brought a bowl of guacamole dip.
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Speaking of a festive time, last week’s Floyd Mayweather-Manny Pacquiao fight was kind of like an office party where someone forget to bring the punch.
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Manny Pacquiao, it turned out, entered the ring with a torn rotator cuff, which he failed to disclose to boxing authorities. He earned $120 million for losing the bout. Pacquiao is a congressman in the Philippines. Who would ever accuse a politician of lying to get money?
A federal appeals court in New York ruled last week that the government’s massive telephone surveillance program is illegal. Coming soon to Bluffdale — the world’s largest computer discount warehouse.
---
Bluffdale is home to the largest data-gathering site for the National Security Agency. It’s a place where “listening skills” is more than just a good thing to list on a resume.
---
I’m not saying the folks at the Bluffdale NSA center know everything, but the place doesn’t even have a phone number. Just think to yourself that you want to talk to people there. Someone will get back to you.
---
Conservatives won in Britain’s elections last week. How were the results viewed on this side of the ocean? Rumor has it Ted Cruz is now working on a Cockney accent.
---
The U.S. economy picked up in April. Unemployment is down and hiring is up. It seems the only folks worried about inflation these days are the New England Patriots.
---
The NFL has concluded that the Patriots likely deliberately let some air out of footballs used in last season’s AFC championship game in order to help the quarterback grip the ball. Now the debate has begun over a proper punishment. My suggestion? Force the team to play all of next season with balls that have been completely deflated and run over by a steamroller.
---
The Department of Homeland Security says illegal border crossings are down 28 percent during the first six months of the fiscal year. Word has it talk radio hosts, suddenly speechless, will stage a strike until those numbers increase.
---
Meanwhile, Cinco de Mayo has become such a popular holiday in the United States that border patrol agents allegedly wouldn’t let anyone cross into the country on that day unless they brought a bowl of guacamole dip.
---
Speaking of a festive time, last week’s Floyd Mayweather-Manny Pacquiao fight was kind of like an office party where someone forget to bring the punch.
---
Manny Pacquiao, it turned out, entered the ring with a torn rotator cuff, which he failed to disclose to boxing authorities. He earned $120 million for losing the bout. Pacquiao is a congressman in the Philippines. Who would ever accuse a politician of lying to get money?
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