A lighthearted look at news of the day
I don’t know why everyone thinks Hillary Clinton was trying to hide something by using her personal email account while Secretary of State. The NSA should have a comprehensive collection of everything she wrote.
---
Maybe Clinton doesn’t want us to see how many times she responded to a certain Nigerian prince who contacted her claiming to hold millions of dollars she could collect for a small fee.
---
Awhile back, Kim Kardashian failed miserably in her attempt to “break the Internet” with photos of herself. Now it turns out she would have had better luck wearing a certain white and gold dress, or was it blue and black?
---
Blue and black? White and gold? Whoever made that dress has invented the perfect cover for a crime. Police would be so busy refereeing disputes among eyewitnesses they couldn’t identify a suspect.
---
Europeans complain that, compared to them, Americans spend too much time at work and not enough time on vacation. But the dress controversy proves them wrong. Americans, ever the innovators, know how to be on vacation and at work at the same time.
---
Think of this controversy as a “dress” rehearsal for all the time people will waste soon on March Madness.
---
Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu decided to speak publicly to Congress last week about Iran, rather than work privately with President Obama. Israel apparently is the one place on earth where the U.S. Congress still has a decent approval rating.
---
A Drug Enforcement Administration official told the Utah Senate recently that he opposes legalizing medicinal marijuana because he once found a rabbit that apparently had eaten a marijuana plant in the back country and lost its natural instinct to run from humans. This is known as fuzzy, or perhaps furry, logic. Still, the Senate committee was all ears.
---
This explains why campers in Utah have had trouble lately keeping wildlife away from their munchies.
---
The House Education Committee has recommended that Utah high schools begin requiring four years of math. Students reacted by saying, “That would mean math classes for, like, 50 percent of our high school years.”
I don’t know why everyone thinks Hillary Clinton was trying to hide something by using her personal email account while Secretary of State. The NSA should have a comprehensive collection of everything she wrote.
---
Maybe Clinton doesn’t want us to see how many times she responded to a certain Nigerian prince who contacted her claiming to hold millions of dollars she could collect for a small fee.
---
Awhile back, Kim Kardashian failed miserably in her attempt to “break the Internet” with photos of herself. Now it turns out she would have had better luck wearing a certain white and gold dress, or was it blue and black?
---
Blue and black? White and gold? Whoever made that dress has invented the perfect cover for a crime. Police would be so busy refereeing disputes among eyewitnesses they couldn’t identify a suspect.
---
Europeans complain that, compared to them, Americans spend too much time at work and not enough time on vacation. But the dress controversy proves them wrong. Americans, ever the innovators, know how to be on vacation and at work at the same time.
---
Think of this controversy as a “dress” rehearsal for all the time people will waste soon on March Madness.
---
Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu decided to speak publicly to Congress last week about Iran, rather than work privately with President Obama. Israel apparently is the one place on earth where the U.S. Congress still has a decent approval rating.
---
A Drug Enforcement Administration official told the Utah Senate recently that he opposes legalizing medicinal marijuana because he once found a rabbit that apparently had eaten a marijuana plant in the back country and lost its natural instinct to run from humans. This is known as fuzzy, or perhaps furry, logic. Still, the Senate committee was all ears.
---
This explains why campers in Utah have had trouble lately keeping wildlife away from their munchies.
---
The House Education Committee has recommended that Utah high schools begin requiring four years of math. Students reacted by saying, “That would mean math classes for, like, 50 percent of our high school years.”
RSS Feed
