A lighthearted look at news of the day:
Congress has been considering a measure to exempt Olympic athletes from paying taxes on the money they win if they medal. Where is the Occupy movement when we need them? I mean, Olympic medal winners are even more elite than the 1 percent.
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Of course, if they knew the medals were tax-exempt, maybe the U.S. hockey team might have had a greater incentive to win.
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Researchers are working hard at bringing extinct animals back to life, such as Passenger Pigeons or Woolly Mammoths, using DNA science. If they succeed, they might tackle something really hard, like Democrats in Utah.
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Do we really want to do this? What if we find out that Wooly Mammoths went extinct because they were pecked to death by Passenger Pigeons?
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A man in South Carolina was arrested recently for trying to pay a restaurant tab with a trillion-dollar bill. This shows how stupid criminals can be. He should have chosen a place where that kind of money would be more appropriate, such as the concession stand at an NBA game.
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He should have hung onto the money. It might come in handy once the Federal Reserve’s inflationary policies take hold.
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Speaking of money, a California couple recently found tin cans buried in their yard, filled with 19th century gold coins worth an estimated $10 million. Congress is now contemplating a new revenue scheme involving metal detectors.
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At least, instead of always kicking the can down the road, Congress now is going to look inside the can, first.
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The odd thing about the treasure is it was found at the end of a rainbow.
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Today’s generation isn’t going to leave many treasures like this, even by accident. The best someone from the 22nd century can hope for is a can filled with old credit cards, or with someone’s receipt for a bitcoin.
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The Utah House recently held a hearing on whether to do away with daylight saving time. People who went were heard to say, “That’s an hour of my life I’ll never get back.”
Congress has been considering a measure to exempt Olympic athletes from paying taxes on the money they win if they medal. Where is the Occupy movement when we need them? I mean, Olympic medal winners are even more elite than the 1 percent.
---
Of course, if they knew the medals were tax-exempt, maybe the U.S. hockey team might have had a greater incentive to win.
---
Researchers are working hard at bringing extinct animals back to life, such as Passenger Pigeons or Woolly Mammoths, using DNA science. If they succeed, they might tackle something really hard, like Democrats in Utah.
---
Do we really want to do this? What if we find out that Wooly Mammoths went extinct because they were pecked to death by Passenger Pigeons?
---
A man in South Carolina was arrested recently for trying to pay a restaurant tab with a trillion-dollar bill. This shows how stupid criminals can be. He should have chosen a place where that kind of money would be more appropriate, such as the concession stand at an NBA game.
---
He should have hung onto the money. It might come in handy once the Federal Reserve’s inflationary policies take hold.
---
Speaking of money, a California couple recently found tin cans buried in their yard, filled with 19th century gold coins worth an estimated $10 million. Congress is now contemplating a new revenue scheme involving metal detectors.
---
At least, instead of always kicking the can down the road, Congress now is going to look inside the can, first.
---
The odd thing about the treasure is it was found at the end of a rainbow.
---
Today’s generation isn’t going to leave many treasures like this, even by accident. The best someone from the 22nd century can hope for is a can filled with old credit cards, or with someone’s receipt for a bitcoin.
---
The Utah House recently held a hearing on whether to do away with daylight saving time. People who went were heard to say, “That’s an hour of my life I’ll never get back.”
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