A lighthearted look at news of the day
Hundreds of thousands of people showed up for Utah’s political caucuses last week. Somewhere in the state, a clueless person who was elected a state delegate is bragging about how well his get-out-the-vote campaign worked.
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To vote in Utah’s caucuses, people had to park blocks away, wade through crowds and stand in line for an hour. It was kind of like going to see Brian Regan perform in Utah, only in the end everyone got to choose from among several jokers.
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Donald Trump finished third in Utah. Why was this? Blame Marco Rubio. If he hadn’t dropped out of the race, Trump could have been fourth.
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Trump was surprised by his poor finish in Utah. Apparently, the strategy of questioning Mitt Romney’s religious faith didn’t work.
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Bernie Sanders also visited Utah recently and attracted a large crowd to a rally. He’s always had an affinity for Utah, given that Brigham Young used to be one of his constituents in Vermont.
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President Obama visited Cuba last week. As part of the visit, the Tampa Bay Rays came and played an exhibition baseball game against the Cuban national team. As a token of friendship, the players swapped jerseys after the game. That way, the Cuban players could escape the island undetected.
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A lot of people were angry with the president for visiting Cuba. They felt the Castro brothers didn’t do anything in return to loosen their tight grip on the island. Yeah, but once trade is re-established and Cubans see how much money those vintage American cars they drive will fetch on eBay, it will be hard to keep any sort of control.
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Cubans have kept their American cars running for almost 60 years. Forget about baseball players, we should be encouraging more mechanics to defect.
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In an effort to be more transparent, the company that makes M&M candies says it now will inform people about which of its products are genetically modified. The genetically modified candies will be marked with an M for “modified.” The non-modified ones will be marked with a W for “without modification.”
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“Batman vs. Superman” has been a disappointment. One critic called the plot an insane mess, which kind of makes it similar to the presidential race, only without the superheroes trying to insult each other’s wives.
Hundreds of thousands of people showed up for Utah’s political caucuses last week. Somewhere in the state, a clueless person who was elected a state delegate is bragging about how well his get-out-the-vote campaign worked.
---
To vote in Utah’s caucuses, people had to park blocks away, wade through crowds and stand in line for an hour. It was kind of like going to see Brian Regan perform in Utah, only in the end everyone got to choose from among several jokers.
---
Donald Trump finished third in Utah. Why was this? Blame Marco Rubio. If he hadn’t dropped out of the race, Trump could have been fourth.
---
Trump was surprised by his poor finish in Utah. Apparently, the strategy of questioning Mitt Romney’s religious faith didn’t work.
---
Bernie Sanders also visited Utah recently and attracted a large crowd to a rally. He’s always had an affinity for Utah, given that Brigham Young used to be one of his constituents in Vermont.
---
President Obama visited Cuba last week. As part of the visit, the Tampa Bay Rays came and played an exhibition baseball game against the Cuban national team. As a token of friendship, the players swapped jerseys after the game. That way, the Cuban players could escape the island undetected.
---
A lot of people were angry with the president for visiting Cuba. They felt the Castro brothers didn’t do anything in return to loosen their tight grip on the island. Yeah, but once trade is re-established and Cubans see how much money those vintage American cars they drive will fetch on eBay, it will be hard to keep any sort of control.
---
Cubans have kept their American cars running for almost 60 years. Forget about baseball players, we should be encouraging more mechanics to defect.
---
In an effort to be more transparent, the company that makes M&M candies says it now will inform people about which of its products are genetically modified. The genetically modified candies will be marked with an M for “modified.” The non-modified ones will be marked with a W for “without modification.”
---
“Batman vs. Superman” has been a disappointment. One critic called the plot an insane mess, which kind of makes it similar to the presidential race, only without the superheroes trying to insult each other’s wives.
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