Jay Evensen
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On Second Thought for March 2, 2020

2/28/2020

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A lighthearted look at the news of the day:

We should have more sympathy for political candidates. After all, they’re trying to influence democracy in a country where 38% of beer drinkers say they no longer will drink Corona for fear of contracting the virus.
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Somewhere deep inside Russia, people in charge of hacking U.S. elections are leaning back in their chairs and smiling. “Dis eez too easy!”
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Researchers didn’t take the next step and ask these people if they also intend to beef up their computer’s virus protection systems, just in case.
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Toyota is no doubt happy it decided to discontinue making its Corona car model years ago.
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After last week, Disneyland should open a new ride, consisting entirely of inviting investors into a room and showing them stock market tickers.
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The new ride could replace the “primary tower of terror,” in which voters enter a room and are forced to watch Democratic candidates debate.
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I think I figured out why they call tomorrow Super Tuesday. It’s because that’s the last day we will see annoying political commercials for a while.
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Researchers say 41% of Americans are obese. For the rest of you, there is still hope. McDonald’s is giving away free egg mcmuffins today! 
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Yes, McDonald’s has declared March 2nd to be National Egg McMuffin Day. Fly the flag! Finally, we have something to keep us fed between Super Bowl Sunday and Cinco de Mayo.
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It’s been five years now since car manufacturers predicted we would have completely self-driving cars by 2020. I’m not sure where this is progress or not, but we seem to be doing a smashing job of developing self-crashing cars.
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Last week, in a case out of California involving self-driving technology and a fatal crash, officials criticized the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration for being too hands-off on regulating automated-vehicle technology. See what they did there?
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Utah lawmakers passed a bill last week that might one day put the state on permanent daylight saving time. At least the people we elected last fall are shedding light on something.
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    Everyone likes to laugh. Some of us even like to groan occasionally. Well, you've come to the right place. "On second thought" is a weekly feature I  produce for the Deseret News, available on Mondays. But here you can read them as I think of them.
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