A lighthearted look at news of the day
Alex Rodriguez has reported to spring training with the Yankees after a one-year suspension. The team faces a dilemma. If they let him play, they also have to open up several roster spots for his attorneys.
---
Rodriguez offered an apology for his actions. Perhaps the Yankees’ slogan for 2015 should be, “Our third baseman is sorry.”
---
Utah lawmakers want to turn the decision on prison relocation over to a small commission. The commission, in turn, wants to turn it over to a call center in India.
---
Actually, India may turn up soon on the list of politically safe places to move the Utah prison.
---
Everywhere lawmakers want to put the prison, protests follow. And lawmakers have made so much noise about moving it out of Draper that even Draper would protest if it stayed. The Legislature has yet to consider the easiest solution, which would be simply to legalize everything.
---
People in Brooklyn were happy about Net neutrality until they discovered it doesn't mean the Nets will play all their road games on a neutral court.
---
The FCC voted to enforce Net neutrality last week. This is the concept based on the notion that people are clamoring for the Internet to be subject to a 1934 law governing rotary telephones.
---
From now on, all Google searches will be handled by a team of operators at a switchboard.
---
Actually, from now on the Internet will be treated as a public utility. This is great. Imagine how much farther along cyberspace innovation would be today if it had been regulated by the government from the start.
---
Under Net neutrality, nobody can pay extra for faster Internet speeds. This is good because who would want to pay to go faster on a toll road when you could sit in a traffic jam with everyone else?
---
Have you noticed that real war heroes never pretend to have been in the media or served in government?
---
Disneyland raised its admission price to $99. That’s to cover the cost of a bounce house in the new “Inflation Land.”
Alex Rodriguez has reported to spring training with the Yankees after a one-year suspension. The team faces a dilemma. If they let him play, they also have to open up several roster spots for his attorneys.
---
Rodriguez offered an apology for his actions. Perhaps the Yankees’ slogan for 2015 should be, “Our third baseman is sorry.”
---
Utah lawmakers want to turn the decision on prison relocation over to a small commission. The commission, in turn, wants to turn it over to a call center in India.
---
Actually, India may turn up soon on the list of politically safe places to move the Utah prison.
---
Everywhere lawmakers want to put the prison, protests follow. And lawmakers have made so much noise about moving it out of Draper that even Draper would protest if it stayed. The Legislature has yet to consider the easiest solution, which would be simply to legalize everything.
---
People in Brooklyn were happy about Net neutrality until they discovered it doesn't mean the Nets will play all their road games on a neutral court.
---
The FCC voted to enforce Net neutrality last week. This is the concept based on the notion that people are clamoring for the Internet to be subject to a 1934 law governing rotary telephones.
---
From now on, all Google searches will be handled by a team of operators at a switchboard.
---
Actually, from now on the Internet will be treated as a public utility. This is great. Imagine how much farther along cyberspace innovation would be today if it had been regulated by the government from the start.
---
Under Net neutrality, nobody can pay extra for faster Internet speeds. This is good because who would want to pay to go faster on a toll road when you could sit in a traffic jam with everyone else?
---
Have you noticed that real war heroes never pretend to have been in the media or served in government?
---
Disneyland raised its admission price to $99. That’s to cover the cost of a bounce house in the new “Inflation Land.”
RSS Feed
