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On Second Thought for June 9, 2014

6/11/2014

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A lighthearted look at news of the day:

University of Illinois researchers have found that hurricanes given women’s names kill more people than those named for men. The reason is people don’t think something named Katrina or Camille sounds too scary. Of course, the names go in alphabetical order. Wait until we get to Hurricane Xena, Warrior Princess.

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Maybe the safest option is give all future hurricanes androgynous names. Sandy already started the trend. People in the Northeast will tell you they don’t come much scarier than that one.

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Better yet, the National Hurricane Center should name storms after notorious people in history. Who wouldn’t run from Hurricane Attila the Hun?

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President Obama announced new EPA regulations last week requiring states to reduce their power plant emissions. Apparently, the president wants to make sure the one thing he doesn’t get in his stocking next Christmas is a lump of coal.

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However, he might get a spent nuclear fuel rod.

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You know you have an unpopular new energy policy when you can walk around Washington and never bump into a member of your own party. That’s because they’re hiding from you. After November, they just won’t be living in Washington any more.

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The World Cup begins next week. Actually, soccer has gained a foothold (pun intended) in the United States. Here, the sport is still in that awkward stage — popular enough to draw large crowds, but not yet so popular that fans riot and kill each other.

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English teachers love soccer for its headers and footers.

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Holding the World Cup in Brazil could be interesting. If fans get tired of arguing over which team will win, they can argue over which stadiums will be finished and whether police will hold rioters at bay.

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After trading five fierce Taliban thugs for one American prisoner, President Obama has pretty much guaranteed he won’t become a baseball manager when he leaves office.

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Someone got the prisoner-exchange on video. It was touching to see the Taliban guys pinky swear that they won’t attack Americans any more.

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Director Oliver Stone said he plans to make a movie about Ed Snowden, the former NSA employee who now lives in Russia. We’ll see how happy Stone is when his script ends up on the Wikileaks website.

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Let’s see, Daniel Craig could plan Vladimir Putin, Denzel Washington could play President Obama, and Justin Bieber could play Ed Snowden — except no Russian autocrat would ever willingly give asylum to Justin Bieber.

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    Everyone likes to laugh. Some of us even like to groan occasionally. Well, you've come to the right place. "On second thought" is a weekly feature I  produce for the Deseret News, available on Mondays. But here you can read them as I think of them.
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