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On Second Thought for June 3, 2013

5/31/2013

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A lighthearted look at news of the day:

Apparently, Mexico has a new strategy for getting tourists to stay a few extra days. It’s unclear, however, how people are supposed to spend money while they’re locked in jail on false drug charges.
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Mexican federales arrested 42-year-old Yanira Maldonado, a mother of seven from the Phoenix area, saying she had marijuana under her seat on a bus. Well of course, it was obvious. If you’re a drug peddler, you know the last place they ever look is under your bus seat.
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Picture
Maldonado’s husband was advised to bribe the judge. Ah, so that’s where the extra tourist spending comes in.
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Last week the nation was fixated on flopping, or the art of pretending to be injured. But enough about how politicians debate sequestration.
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You have to hand it to Minnesota Republican congresswoman Michelle Bachman. Not many politicians can announce they are quitting and have both major parties see it as a possible gain for their side.
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Meanwhile, reports say LeBron James flinched and fell down last week while passing a referee in a hallway.
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The problem with the Scripps National Spelling Bee is the contestants have no credible way to Tweet about their experiences without misspelling the winning words. Contestants ought to lobby to have no words longer than 140 characters.
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“Amimia,” “laureation,” “morosoph,” “diplodocus” — these were among the words misspelled in the semifinal round. The winning word was “knaidel,” a German-derived Yiddish word for a matzo ball. Rest assured that your word processor probably puts red lines under each of them.
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What’s that? Could I use that in a sentence? Sure: “You morosoph, I can hardly expect laureation for my eloquence if I am forced to use amimia, like the leader of some herd of diplodocus, to tell you I would like a knaidel.”
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Ten public universities and state school systems have contracted with Coursera, a company that offers online college courses for credit. This is the future of higher education. Now all we need is a good computer football simulation to enhance online school spirit.
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Students in the future won’t be able to say, “My dog ate my homework.” However, they could say, “The cloud was down this morning,” which is an excuse even their hippie grandparents never dreamed of using.
Jay Evensen is the associate editor of the Deseret News editorial page. Follow him on Twitter @jayevensen.

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    Everyone likes to laugh. Some of us even like to groan occasionally. Well, you've come to the right place. "On second thought" is a weekly feature I  produce for the Deseret News, available on Mondays. But here you can read them as I think of them.
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