Jay Evensen
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On Second Thought for June 24, 2013

6/21/2013

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A lighthearted look at news of the day:

The U.S. Supreme Court has ruled that companies may not patent genes. You just know someone at Levi Strauss heard that news on the radio and panicked.
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Meanwhile, the court also struck down an Arizona law that required people to prove their citizenship when registering to vote. People in Chicago were relieved. If the Arizona law caught on, they would face the challenge of proving the citizenship of dead voters.
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The American Medical Association now says obesity should be classified as a disease. Does this mean it’s OK to call in sick because you feel fat?
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“Please excuse Mary from school today. She had too many ice cream sundaes last night and needs bed rest until she can fit into her school clothes again.”
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I can never remember, is it feed a cold, starve obesity, or the other way around?
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Meanwhile, people with excessive credit card debt might want to lobby the AMA to get their own disease designation. The only problem with that is it could lead to the entire U.S. Congress receiving paid sick leave.
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President Obama’s approval ratings have plummeted in recent weeks. Thanks to the NSA, however, he has the ability to track down everyone who disapproves of him and engage them in a little re-education.
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An impeachment proceeding can be defined as an investigation to determine whether formal allegations should be presented to the state Senate for trial. Last week, Utah Republicans met and decided that, instead of impeachment proceedings against Attorney General John Swallow, they would open an investigation to see whether formal allegations should be presented to the state Senate for trial.
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Swallow, who had opposed impeachment, praised this decision. And you thought politics was hard to understand.
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