Utah Gov. Gary Herbert said last week that if Attorney General John Swallow were working for him, he’d be fired. Then he said he wasn’t calling for Swallow to resign. If Swallow ever seeks re-election, expect him to use only the second part of that statement in his ads.
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The Labor Department says more Americans are quitting their jobs, which it said is a good sign for the economy. No word yet on whether John Swallow wants to help the economy even more.
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President Obama hosted the Chinese leader last week, making sure the Chinese are still willing to make the federal government’s monthly credit card payments.
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Meanwhile, somewhere in an undisclosed hideout, the meeting of the secret society of government secret-stealers is about to come to order, Daniel Ellsberg presiding.
Ellsberg: We note the excused absence of Pfc. Bradley Manning. We’d also like to welcome our newest member, Edward Snowden!
Snowden: Thank you.
Julian Assange: Welcome, although I knew you’d be here.
Snowden: How’s that?
Assange: I took the liberty of stealing your diary and posting it online this morning.
Snowden: Oh really? Well, maybe you’d like to know what the NSA recorded you saying in a telephone call with a certain Swedish woman.
Ellsberg: Gentlemen! Gentlemen! Why must this always happen?
Snowden: So, who gave the Atlantic those pictures of me as a teenager?
Ellsberg: I don’t know, but now I believe that clearly some things ought to remain secret.
(Enter Chinese leader Xi Jinping)
All: What are you doing here?
Xi: You guys are easy to find. We hacked into the IRS, which gave us Snowden’s Social Security number, which helped us track his calls through the NSA, which helped us get his VISA card number, which let us trail him to the convenience store down the street. A breakfast burrito? Really?
Xi: There’s only one problem.
Xi: Once we hacked into the IRS, the tea party was on to us. They followed me and are waiting outside, wondering if we will let them join.
Jay Evensen is the associate editor of the Deseret News editorial page. Follow him on Twitter @jayevensen.