A lighthearted look at news of the day:
U.S. intelligence officials would like to keep investigating attempts to influence the upcoming election, but right now they’re busy trying to get out from under a bus in Helsinki.
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The world forgot to look at the calendar last week or people would have known that Monday was opposite day. So when President Trump answered a question about whether Russia tried to influence the 2016 election by saying, “I don't see any reason why it would be Russia,” he really meant to say “Canada.”
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Vladimir Putin denies claims he is trying to infiltrate and rig elections in the United States. For one thing, he’s been too busy scoring multiple goals for his Legends of Hockey team against the strangely ineffective defenses of the opposition.
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President Trump now wants to invite Vladimir Putin to visit Washington in the fall. Putin reportedly is relieved. Showing up in person would make it much easier for him to register to vote.
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Trump asked his national security adviser to extend the invitation to Putin, but that was hardly necessary. Putin probably already knew about it, thanks to the listening devices implanted in that soccer ball he gave the president in Finland.
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If the United States wants to retaliate against Russian election meddling, there is only one way to make it really hurt. Hack into Russian computers and rig Putin’s next election so that it’s fair.
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Isn’t July great? In what other month can we unitedly celebrate two patriotic holidays: Amazon Prime Day and World Emoji Day?
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Maybe you forgot to roast hotdogs for Emoji Day. Well, there’s probably a little cartoon on your phone for that. This year, 70 new Apple emojies were unveiled on World Emoji Day, including all kinds of hairstyles, from curly hair and red hair to bald. Conspicuously missing from the group, however, was what Crayola might call “presidential orange.”
U.S. intelligence officials would like to keep investigating attempts to influence the upcoming election, but right now they’re busy trying to get out from under a bus in Helsinki.
---
The world forgot to look at the calendar last week or people would have known that Monday was opposite day. So when President Trump answered a question about whether Russia tried to influence the 2016 election by saying, “I don't see any reason why it would be Russia,” he really meant to say “Canada.”
---
Vladimir Putin denies claims he is trying to infiltrate and rig elections in the United States. For one thing, he’s been too busy scoring multiple goals for his Legends of Hockey team against the strangely ineffective defenses of the opposition.
---
President Trump now wants to invite Vladimir Putin to visit Washington in the fall. Putin reportedly is relieved. Showing up in person would make it much easier for him to register to vote.
---
Trump asked his national security adviser to extend the invitation to Putin, but that was hardly necessary. Putin probably already knew about it, thanks to the listening devices implanted in that soccer ball he gave the president in Finland.
---
If the United States wants to retaliate against Russian election meddling, there is only one way to make it really hurt. Hack into Russian computers and rig Putin’s next election so that it’s fair.
---
Isn’t July great? In what other month can we unitedly celebrate two patriotic holidays: Amazon Prime Day and World Emoji Day?
---
Maybe you forgot to roast hotdogs for Emoji Day. Well, there’s probably a little cartoon on your phone for that. This year, 70 new Apple emojies were unveiled on World Emoji Day, including all kinds of hairstyles, from curly hair and red hair to bald. Conspicuously missing from the group, however, was what Crayola might call “presidential orange.”
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