A lighthearted look at news of the day:
Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy announced his retirement last week. For many activists in Washington this answered the question, “So, what shall we do this summer?”
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Kennedy is 81. From now on, when he wears a robe it will be so he can feel comfortable watching Judge Judy.
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President Trump tweeted last week, “America is open for business!” Of course that doesn’t mean he is hanging “Yes, we’re open” signs along the borders.
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Independence Day is this week. That’s the annual holiday where people in Utah try to recreate the Revolutionary War by burning down their own neighborhood.
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Only in the West would people say, “It’s hotter than a firecracker out here – Hey! That gives me an idea!”
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John Adams supposedly started all this by telling his wife he hoped people would forever more celebrate Independence Day with “bonfires an illuminations.” In retrospect, it would have been more thoughtful of him to say “frozen bonbons and FatBoys.”
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But then, many of us already hold those things in one hand while we light off bottle rockets with the other.
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Actually, it’s appropriate that we set off fireworks made in China on the Fourth of July, in honor of the amount of U.S. debt they own.
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And speaking of trade wars, President Trump picked a fight with Harley-Davidson last week over the company’s plans to move some operations overseas. Doesn’t “picking a fight with guys on Harleys” come right after “starting a land war in Asia” on the list of things to avoid?
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While we’re on the subject of things that make America great, the Erie SeaWolves minor league baseball team last week unveiled a fantastic new treat. It’s a hot dog wrapped in a cotton candy bun and topped with a handful of Nerds. The team sold these on something it called “sugar rush night.” If the Founding Fathers could have foreseen this, they might have had second thoughts about independence.
Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy announced his retirement last week. For many activists in Washington this answered the question, “So, what shall we do this summer?”
---
Kennedy is 81. From now on, when he wears a robe it will be so he can feel comfortable watching Judge Judy.
---
President Trump tweeted last week, “America is open for business!” Of course that doesn’t mean he is hanging “Yes, we’re open” signs along the borders.
---
Independence Day is this week. That’s the annual holiday where people in Utah try to recreate the Revolutionary War by burning down their own neighborhood.
---
Only in the West would people say, “It’s hotter than a firecracker out here – Hey! That gives me an idea!”
---
John Adams supposedly started all this by telling his wife he hoped people would forever more celebrate Independence Day with “bonfires an illuminations.” In retrospect, it would have been more thoughtful of him to say “frozen bonbons and FatBoys.”
---
But then, many of us already hold those things in one hand while we light off bottle rockets with the other.
---
Actually, it’s appropriate that we set off fireworks made in China on the Fourth of July, in honor of the amount of U.S. debt they own.
---
And speaking of trade wars, President Trump picked a fight with Harley-Davidson last week over the company’s plans to move some operations overseas. Doesn’t “picking a fight with guys on Harleys” come right after “starting a land war in Asia” on the list of things to avoid?
---
While we’re on the subject of things that make America great, the Erie SeaWolves minor league baseball team last week unveiled a fantastic new treat. It’s a hot dog wrapped in a cotton candy bun and topped with a handful of Nerds. The team sold these on something it called “sugar rush night.” If the Founding Fathers could have foreseen this, they might have had second thoughts about independence.
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