A lighthearted look at news of the day
This is the week of the Republican National Convention, when delegates are expected to meet, adopt a platform, then tear it up and nominate Donald Trump anyway.
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The list of speakers at the Republican Convention is expected to be dull. That’s too bad. If ever there was an appropriate time for Clint Eastwood to wander around talking to an empty chair, this is it.
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Of course, that could be dangerous. Delegates might jump ship and draft the chair as the party’s nominee.
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Rumor has it Nintendo’s next big smart phone game will involve walking around town trying to capture all of Donald Trump’s political positions on each issue.
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On the second level, players get to search a virtual world for Hillary’s emails.
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Just when you thought it couldn’t get stranger, last week Hillary Clinton received two important endorsements. One was from Bernie Sanders. The other was from Donald Trump.
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A recorded segment of the radio feature “Trumped!” has emerged, in which Trump in 2008 says Hillary would make a good president. Trump has said he had to say those things as a businessman currying the favor of politicians. Nowadays he can be more honest, because everyone knows a politician wouldn’t lie.
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As for the Democrats, Bernie Sanders not long ago said Hillary Clinton isn’t fit to be president, but last week he gave her a full-throated endorsement. “Hillary Clinton will make an outstanding president,” he said.
If you’re keeping score at home … you’re nuttier than the candidates.
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Several Republican senators are making up excuses for not attending the convention this week. “I’ve got to mow my lawn,” said Jeff Flake, R-Ariz. Nebraska Sen. Ben Sasse said he had to take his children to look at dumpster fires. I’m waiting for John McCain to say he has to get his hair done and Mitt Romney to say he’s too busy catching Pokemon.
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Here in Utah, the director of the Salt Lake City Mosquito Abatement District said the site lawmakers picked for a new state prison is “mosquito heaven,” the most infested place in the state. Maybe it’s all part of a plan for controlling inmates. If you spend all day slapping yourself silly, you won’t have time to cause trouble.
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So far, the list of problems at the new prison site includes a high water table that makes the soil soggy, frequent dust storms and swarms of mosquitoes. All we need is a plague of frogs before some inmate demands the state “let my people go.”
This is the week of the Republican National Convention, when delegates are expected to meet, adopt a platform, then tear it up and nominate Donald Trump anyway.
---
The list of speakers at the Republican Convention is expected to be dull. That’s too bad. If ever there was an appropriate time for Clint Eastwood to wander around talking to an empty chair, this is it.
---
Of course, that could be dangerous. Delegates might jump ship and draft the chair as the party’s nominee.
---
Rumor has it Nintendo’s next big smart phone game will involve walking around town trying to capture all of Donald Trump’s political positions on each issue.
---
On the second level, players get to search a virtual world for Hillary’s emails.
---
Just when you thought it couldn’t get stranger, last week Hillary Clinton received two important endorsements. One was from Bernie Sanders. The other was from Donald Trump.
---
A recorded segment of the radio feature “Trumped!” has emerged, in which Trump in 2008 says Hillary would make a good president. Trump has said he had to say those things as a businessman currying the favor of politicians. Nowadays he can be more honest, because everyone knows a politician wouldn’t lie.
---
As for the Democrats, Bernie Sanders not long ago said Hillary Clinton isn’t fit to be president, but last week he gave her a full-throated endorsement. “Hillary Clinton will make an outstanding president,” he said.
If you’re keeping score at home … you’re nuttier than the candidates.
---
Several Republican senators are making up excuses for not attending the convention this week. “I’ve got to mow my lawn,” said Jeff Flake, R-Ariz. Nebraska Sen. Ben Sasse said he had to take his children to look at dumpster fires. I’m waiting for John McCain to say he has to get his hair done and Mitt Romney to say he’s too busy catching Pokemon.
---
Here in Utah, the director of the Salt Lake City Mosquito Abatement District said the site lawmakers picked for a new state prison is “mosquito heaven,” the most infested place in the state. Maybe it’s all part of a plan for controlling inmates. If you spend all day slapping yourself silly, you won’t have time to cause trouble.
---
So far, the list of problems at the new prison site includes a high water table that makes the soil soggy, frequent dust storms and swarms of mosquitoes. All we need is a plague of frogs before some inmate demands the state “let my people go.”
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