Jay Evensen
  • Front Page
  • Opinions
  • Second Thoughts
  • Portfolio
  • Awards
  • About

On Second Thought for Feb. 5, 2018

2/2/2018

0 Comments

 
​“We are with you,” President Trump told the people of Puerto Rico in his State of the Union speech. That would have made Puerto Ricans feel better if they had the electricity necessary to hear him.
---
FEMA officials allegedly relayed the message the next day as they announced they were ending emergency food and water distribution to the island.
---
People who listened to the president’s speech last week apparently had a different reaction to it than those who watched it. And when it came to the Democratic response from Rep. Joe Kennedy, those who only listened on the radio missed all the drooling.
---
Kennedy blamed what looked like drool on excess Chapstick that caught the television lights wrong.  Most Americans reacted to this explanation by saying, “There was a Democratic response to the State of the Union?”
---
Give the Democrats credit. They showed they are ready to move away from the party’s old guard of Clinton-era leadership, and on to a Kennedy.
---
Will the indignities of commercial air travel never end? Now we find that United Airlines has refused to let a woman carry her emotionally supportive peacock onboard a flight.
---
Sure, the peacock was big and heavy and full of expansive plumage, but so, apparently, were this passenger’s emotional needs.
---
Of course, the TSA wouldn’t have even noticed the bird, except that it tried to go through security with a tiny set of nail clippers.
---
TSA officials say they have seen people try to carry service monkeys and comfort pigs onto flights. Actually, pigs can be a comfort, especially if they’re in a blanket.
---
Don’t act so smug or incredulous. This is nothing new. More than a century ago, lots of people came here with their comfort oxen and service horses.
---
Speaking of air travel, a flight from Oslo to Munich had to return shortly after takeoff because the toilets were out of order. The irony is that 85 plumbers were onboard, en route to a conference. Apparently, the plumbers offered to fix the problem, but only sometime between 8 a.m. and noon the following Tuesday.
---
Hasbro has announced a new edition of Monopoly that encourages cheating. Players will receive cards encouraging them to steal from the bank or from each other. Sounds like the perfect gift for the family that feels just a bit too much love and unity.
 
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Enter your email address:

    Delivered by FeedBurner

    RSS Feed

    Ha! Ha! Ha!

    Everyone likes to laugh. Some of us even like to groan occasionally. Well, you've come to the right place. "On second thought" is a weekly feature I  produce for the Deseret News, available on Mondays. But here you can read them as I think of them.
      Oh yes, and if you've got something even funnier, post it in the comments. If I like it, I may use it.

    Archives

    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    May 2019
    March 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    October 2012
    September 2012
    August 2012
    July 2012
    June 2012

    Categories

    All
    Anthony Weiner
    Barack Obama
    Bcs
    Belarus
    Congress
    Donald Trump
    Fast And Furious
    Mitt Romney
    Nasa
    North Korea
    North Korea
    Olympics
    Politics
    Ron Paul
    Tea Party
    Utah
    Utah Legislature
    Venus


Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
Photos used under Creative Commons from Gwydion M. Williams, PetroleumJelliffe, mike.benedetti, ScrippsBee, Images_of_Money