Jay Evensen
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On Second Thought for Feb. 29, 2016

2/26/2016

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​A lighthearted look at news of the day
Remember Mitt Romney’s 47 percent? Turns out they’re still out there, only now they are the portion of the Republican Party that is doing all it can to derail Donald Trump’s bid for the party’s nomination.
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Romney raised eyebrows last week when he hinted there might be a “bombshell” hidden in Trump’s tax returns. That probably would be of interest to his wife, Melania, as well.
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What could the hidden bombshell be? Is Trump the one poised to develop the current Utah prison site? Has he purchased options on Guantanamo Bay so he can turn it into a resort and casino? Is he cornering the market on the masonry supplies Mexico will use to build that wall at the border?
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If what happens in Vegas truly stays in Vegas, shouldn’t the results of last week’s Republican Nevada caucus have remained a secret?
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Hasbro is coming out with a new version of Monopoly aimed at the young generation. Instead of cash, each player is given a credit card he or she can swipe to collect money, pay bills or make trades with other players. This new touch of realism will keep kids from having to do a lot of boring and difficult math, and it will keep the game moving faster until their parents come down and tell them to put it away and go get a real job so they can stop living in the basement rent-free.
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Hasbro wanted to introduce a new Monopoly token that looks like a smartphone, but the worry was everyone would stop playing the game and just sit and stare at the thing.
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The game will feature new realistic “chance” cards, perhaps such as, “The nation has just elected Bernie Sanders president. If your earnings amount to the top 1 percent of all players, please turn all personal property over to the government and go directly to jail.”
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Facebook has come out with five new emotions to express in addition to “like.” These are, “haha,” “sad,” “angry,” “wow” and “love.” Unfortunately, there still is no “yawn.”
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A better idea would be for Facebook to provide little faces for all of Disney’s seven dwarves. Then we could at least label things as “dopey.”
 
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