A lighthearted look at the news of the day:
What do Mike Bloomberg and an NFL linebacker have in common? Both have been known to spend an entire evening playing defense, getting beaten and bruised, but only one had to pay millions for the privilege.
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Shortly after Mike Bloomberg’s less-than-convincing debut as a debater last week, his Twitter account posted a doctored video showing what appeared to be an awkward pause after Bloomberg asks whether he’s the only one on the stage who has started a business. I’m not sure who edited the video. Maybe that person has since signed a non-disclosure agreement.
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President Trump called Bloomberg a “mass of dead energy.” For once, that was mild compared to what fellow Democrats said about Bloomberg onstage.
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Bloomberg said he can’t use Turbotax because his returns are several thousand pages long. That was designed to appeal to the common person, endearing him to average people who also can’t afford the Turbotax deluxe edition.
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Former Massachusetts Gov. William Weld was in Utah last week, promoting his campaign to defeat President Trump in a GOP primary. Polls show he’s going viral. That means you can view his numbers only through a microscope.
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If this doesn’t work out, Weld could try selling rain boots in Death Valley.
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Meanwhile, it’s unclear whether Vladimir Putin is going to get that absentee ballot he requested before November.
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Putin is like the stereotypical irritating little brother. He gets to have fun trying to ruin U.S. elections, knowing that U.S. intelligence officials who tell on him will be the ones who get spanked.
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Meanwhile, Americans who are sick of all the hatred and anger of politics can take solace in knowing the baseball season will soon start. Politics, as the saying goes, “ain’t beanbag.” But baseball, especially when the Astros are at bat, may be all bean ball.
What do Mike Bloomberg and an NFL linebacker have in common? Both have been known to spend an entire evening playing defense, getting beaten and bruised, but only one had to pay millions for the privilege.
---
Shortly after Mike Bloomberg’s less-than-convincing debut as a debater last week, his Twitter account posted a doctored video showing what appeared to be an awkward pause after Bloomberg asks whether he’s the only one on the stage who has started a business. I’m not sure who edited the video. Maybe that person has since signed a non-disclosure agreement.
---
President Trump called Bloomberg a “mass of dead energy.” For once, that was mild compared to what fellow Democrats said about Bloomberg onstage.
---
Bloomberg said he can’t use Turbotax because his returns are several thousand pages long. That was designed to appeal to the common person, endearing him to average people who also can’t afford the Turbotax deluxe edition.
---
Former Massachusetts Gov. William Weld was in Utah last week, promoting his campaign to defeat President Trump in a GOP primary. Polls show he’s going viral. That means you can view his numbers only through a microscope.
---
If this doesn’t work out, Weld could try selling rain boots in Death Valley.
---
Meanwhile, it’s unclear whether Vladimir Putin is going to get that absentee ballot he requested before November.
---
Putin is like the stereotypical irritating little brother. He gets to have fun trying to ruin U.S. elections, knowing that U.S. intelligence officials who tell on him will be the ones who get spanked.
---
Meanwhile, Americans who are sick of all the hatred and anger of politics can take solace in knowing the baseball season will soon start. Politics, as the saying goes, “ain’t beanbag.” But baseball, especially when the Astros are at bat, may be all bean ball.
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