A lighthearted look at news of the day:
Wait — so, raising the debt ceiling suddenly is OK? Can’t Congress find some other fiscal cliff or crevice they haven’t almost fallen into yet?
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Word has it the president is working up an executive order that will outlaw winter weather. He got tired of waiting while the issue seemed frozen in Congress.
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It’s actually kind of refreshing to hear that people in Washington are shoveling snow, rather than the usual substance.
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Snowstorms snarled traffic again in Georgia and ground Washington to a halt. In Utah, we have sympathy. Sometimes when it snows 10 inches here people come to work as much as 10 minutes late.
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Meanwhile, in Sochi, Olympic organizers are thinking about declaring the summer games open, instead.
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The worst part about unusually warm weather in Sochi is that it has been difficult to persuade Vladimir Putin to keep his shirt on.
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Meanwhile, due to the weather, the Jamaican bobsled team suddenly found itself at an advantage.
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Organizers say not to worry. They have been stockpiling snow for just such an emergency. What a shame if someone were to sneak in, steal all that snow and replace it with puddles of water.
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The irony is they could move the games to Atlanta right now and be just fine.
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Slovenia’s star downhill racer, Tina Maze, also is an enormously popular singer in her country. As pop stars go, not even Miley Cyrus has gone downhill faster lately.
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Meanwhile, Bob Costas’ eyes have been getting bloodshot faster than even Toronto Mayor Rob Ford’s.
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Has anyone ever tried to clean house by inviting a curling team over and tossing a stone on the floor?
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In California, lawmakers are thinking about putting warning labels on sugary drinks, letting people know about health risks. Meanwhile, California voters will be considering measures this fall to legalize marijuana, which wouldn’t come with any warning labels — unless perhaps it was baked into a sugary brownie.
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Apparently, it’s OK to lose your memory and coordination and be unable to function properly; just don’t do something socially awkward, like gain weight.
Wait — so, raising the debt ceiling suddenly is OK? Can’t Congress find some other fiscal cliff or crevice they haven’t almost fallen into yet?
---
Word has it the president is working up an executive order that will outlaw winter weather. He got tired of waiting while the issue seemed frozen in Congress.
---
It’s actually kind of refreshing to hear that people in Washington are shoveling snow, rather than the usual substance.
---
Snowstorms snarled traffic again in Georgia and ground Washington to a halt. In Utah, we have sympathy. Sometimes when it snows 10 inches here people come to work as much as 10 minutes late.
---
Meanwhile, in Sochi, Olympic organizers are thinking about declaring the summer games open, instead.
---
The worst part about unusually warm weather in Sochi is that it has been difficult to persuade Vladimir Putin to keep his shirt on.
---
Meanwhile, due to the weather, the Jamaican bobsled team suddenly found itself at an advantage.
---
Organizers say not to worry. They have been stockpiling snow for just such an emergency. What a shame if someone were to sneak in, steal all that snow and replace it with puddles of water.
---
The irony is they could move the games to Atlanta right now and be just fine.
---
Slovenia’s star downhill racer, Tina Maze, also is an enormously popular singer in her country. As pop stars go, not even Miley Cyrus has gone downhill faster lately.
---
Meanwhile, Bob Costas’ eyes have been getting bloodshot faster than even Toronto Mayor Rob Ford’s.
---
Has anyone ever tried to clean house by inviting a curling team over and tossing a stone on the floor?
---
In California, lawmakers are thinking about putting warning labels on sugary drinks, letting people know about health risks. Meanwhile, California voters will be considering measures this fall to legalize marijuana, which wouldn’t come with any warning labels — unless perhaps it was baked into a sugary brownie.
---
Apparently, it’s OK to lose your memory and coordination and be unable to function properly; just don’t do something socially awkward, like gain weight.
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