A lighthearted look at news of the day:
Scientists made a dramatic discovery last week concerning gravity. Apparently, none of it exists in the current presidential contest.
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Actually, scientists were able to hear the gravitational waves Albert Einstein first theorized existed. This, they say, could help us go back to the first murmurs of the universe. Perhaps then we can understand how Iowa and New Hampshire came to be so important in the nominating process.
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President Obama sent his latest budget proposal to Congress last week. It calls for $4.1 trillion in spending. Coincidentally, the odds of Congress actually considering this budget are about 4.1 trillion to 1.
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What’s the biggest challenge with Obama’s budget? Finding room to store it next to the other seven budgets he has proposed and that still are waiting to be heard.
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The air in Utah was so bad last week it was hard to see the advocates who wanted to talk about further regulating e-cigarettes.
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State officials should check those pumps Gov. Norm Bangerter put in the West Desert all those years ago to alleviate flooding. Maybe they have a reverse switch that could blow out all the pollution.
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As the presidential election heats up, observers have developed two drinking games (using soft drinks, of course). Every time someone mentions Donald Trump, you grab a drink and spit it on your neighbor. Every time someone mentions Bernie Sanders, you tax somebody else to buy you a drink.
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After the New Hampshire primary, Jeb Bush said his campaign is “not dead.” That’s not exactly a rousing slogan, but it’s a start.
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Others close to Bush said his campaign was “on fire.” Really, that’s not necessary. A simple, “I’m suspending operations” would do.
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The price of oil fell so far last week that soon gasoline will be cheaper than water. The people of Flint, Mich., are saying, “Thanks, but that’s still not a great alternative.”
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Gas is so cheap that pretty soon you’ll be charged full price for every Big Gulp, but given free refills at the pump.
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An Australian tycoon is financing construction of an exact replica of the Titanic. When it is completed in 2018, it will officially become the world’s largest floating metaphor, complete with rearrangeable deck chairs.
Scientists made a dramatic discovery last week concerning gravity. Apparently, none of it exists in the current presidential contest.
---
Actually, scientists were able to hear the gravitational waves Albert Einstein first theorized existed. This, they say, could help us go back to the first murmurs of the universe. Perhaps then we can understand how Iowa and New Hampshire came to be so important in the nominating process.
---
President Obama sent his latest budget proposal to Congress last week. It calls for $4.1 trillion in spending. Coincidentally, the odds of Congress actually considering this budget are about 4.1 trillion to 1.
---
What’s the biggest challenge with Obama’s budget? Finding room to store it next to the other seven budgets he has proposed and that still are waiting to be heard.
---
The air in Utah was so bad last week it was hard to see the advocates who wanted to talk about further regulating e-cigarettes.
---
State officials should check those pumps Gov. Norm Bangerter put in the West Desert all those years ago to alleviate flooding. Maybe they have a reverse switch that could blow out all the pollution.
---
As the presidential election heats up, observers have developed two drinking games (using soft drinks, of course). Every time someone mentions Donald Trump, you grab a drink and spit it on your neighbor. Every time someone mentions Bernie Sanders, you tax somebody else to buy you a drink.
---
After the New Hampshire primary, Jeb Bush said his campaign is “not dead.” That’s not exactly a rousing slogan, but it’s a start.
---
Others close to Bush said his campaign was “on fire.” Really, that’s not necessary. A simple, “I’m suspending operations” would do.
---
The price of oil fell so far last week that soon gasoline will be cheaper than water. The people of Flint, Mich., are saying, “Thanks, but that’s still not a great alternative.”
---
Gas is so cheap that pretty soon you’ll be charged full price for every Big Gulp, but given free refills at the pump.
---
An Australian tycoon is financing construction of an exact replica of the Titanic. When it is completed in 2018, it will officially become the world’s largest floating metaphor, complete with rearrangeable deck chairs.
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