A lighthearted look at the news of the day:
This is the week when Americans everywhere will pause from their deep, dark conspiracy theories about people in the opposite political party and eagerly wait for a man in a red suit who apparently knows when we’re sleeping, when we’re awake and whether we have been good or bad.
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Maybe Santa is really just a secret NSA plot.
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Life in America just keeps getting more complicated. Now people want to impeach Luke Skywalker.
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Writing for Forbes, movie critic Scott Mendelson said the new film is the worst Star Wars movie ever. He said it takes the long series of films “from a kids’ franchise into one aimed at nostalgic adults yearning for a time when they believed they were the most important generation.” Wait. We’re not?
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Alyssa Wilkinson of Vox said, “The Rise of Skywalker falls somewhere between an overstuffed fan-service finale and a yawnfest.” Come to think of it, that sounds a lot like the House impeachment hearings.
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I’m just glad that, after 42 years, we can all get our lives back. Let’s see now, what period was that Algebra test in, again?
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Regardless of what critics say, however, Star Wars fever has infected much of the nation. It’s even hit Washington in strange ways, such as when Nancy Pelosi wiggled her fingers at Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell last week and said, “These are not the articles of impeachment you’re looking for.”
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Democrats in the House said they had to hurry to pass articles of impeachment because time was of the essence. Then they refused to pass them on to the Senate for a trial. Nancy Pelosi wants to wait … presumably until some future date when Democrats take control of the Senate.
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But regardless of that, the fever has even hit England, where Boris Johnson unveiled his own Star Wars sequel, called, The Brexit Strikes Back.
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Utah lawmakers have their own adventure film, called, The Return of the Food Tax Swamp Monster. Fans are waiting to see whether Jon Huntsman Jr. will rise up again to slay the beast.
This is the week when Americans everywhere will pause from their deep, dark conspiracy theories about people in the opposite political party and eagerly wait for a man in a red suit who apparently knows when we’re sleeping, when we’re awake and whether we have been good or bad.
---
Maybe Santa is really just a secret NSA plot.
---
Life in America just keeps getting more complicated. Now people want to impeach Luke Skywalker.
---
Writing for Forbes, movie critic Scott Mendelson said the new film is the worst Star Wars movie ever. He said it takes the long series of films “from a kids’ franchise into one aimed at nostalgic adults yearning for a time when they believed they were the most important generation.” Wait. We’re not?
---
Alyssa Wilkinson of Vox said, “The Rise of Skywalker falls somewhere between an overstuffed fan-service finale and a yawnfest.” Come to think of it, that sounds a lot like the House impeachment hearings.
---
I’m just glad that, after 42 years, we can all get our lives back. Let’s see now, what period was that Algebra test in, again?
---
Regardless of what critics say, however, Star Wars fever has infected much of the nation. It’s even hit Washington in strange ways, such as when Nancy Pelosi wiggled her fingers at Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell last week and said, “These are not the articles of impeachment you’re looking for.”
---
Democrats in the House said they had to hurry to pass articles of impeachment because time was of the essence. Then they refused to pass them on to the Senate for a trial. Nancy Pelosi wants to wait … presumably until some future date when Democrats take control of the Senate.
---
But regardless of that, the fever has even hit England, where Boris Johnson unveiled his own Star Wars sequel, called, The Brexit Strikes Back.
---
Utah lawmakers have their own adventure film, called, The Return of the Food Tax Swamp Monster. Fans are waiting to see whether Jon Huntsman Jr. will rise up again to slay the beast.
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