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On Second Thought for Dec. 23, 2013

12/23/2013

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A lighthearted look at news of the day:

This is the week when Americans turn from their anger and suspicion toward NSA spying and look with glee toward a man in a red suit who apparently knows when we’re sleeping, when we’re awake and whether we have been good or bad.

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Maybe NSA really stands for NorthPole Santa Alliance.

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Peek through the windows of that new NSA complex in Bluffdale. If you see a bunch of elves wearing headphones and staring at computers, be very afraid.

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This much is sure — no married man working for the NSA has any excuse for not knowing exactly what his wife wants for Christmas.

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Meanwhile, Ed Snowden reportedly is working on a deal to obtain asylum from Brazil. Winter nights in Russia are no carnival in Rio. Most people don’t need to uncover state secrets to figure that out.

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You would think with all the NSA’s eavesdropping ability, they would have some idea of the secrets Ed Snowden still has left to release.

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Dennis Rodman is on another trip to North Korea. He and Kim Jong Un seem to have a good relationship. Rodman should worry, however, if Kim ever tells him he “loves him like an uncle.”

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Kim executed his uncle, Jang Song Thaek, as a traitor. My guess is the next family reunion will be a bit awkward, but Kim will get the largest piece of cake.

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Rodman says Kim just wants President Obama to call him. That’s because Kim won’t allow anyone else in North Korea to own a phone and he needs someone to talk to.

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General Motors has hired its first female CEO. I guess that puts the final nail in the coffin of all those “women driver” jokes from the 1950s.

Rep. Trey Radel of Florida completed his drug rehab program last week and announced he is returning to Washington to do what “you sent me to do.” Apparently, what Floridians sent him to do involves meeting regularly with a parole officer.

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