Jay Evensen
  • Front Page
  • Opinions
  • Second Thoughts
  • Portfolio
  • Awards
  • About

On Second Thought for Aug. 8, 2016

8/8/2016

0 Comments

 
​A lighthearted look at news of the day 
 
Don’t you hate it when you finally convince the Iranians to release four American hostages, then find out about the hidden fees?
---
The Obama administration is under fire for shipping a planeload of crates filled with $400 million in small, unmarked foreign bills that coincided with the release of four U.S. prisoners. It wasn’t ransom, a White House spokesman said. Apparently, the president was just paying for a magic lamp he found on eBay.
---
The Summer Olympics started last Friday, which was the signal Rio officials were waiting for so they would know when to begin constructing the athletes’ village.
---
Rio officials were overheard saying, “Oh, is that THIS year?”
---
In a way, it’s only fair. If athletes can’t use performance-enhancing drugs, why should they be able to use other performance enhancers, such as beds, or walls or bathrooms?
---
NBA players were having an especially hard time, as their servants weren’t sure where to dry and press the monogrammed sweat socks.
---
Libertarian presidential candidate Gary Johnson stumbled recently when he implied Mormons are murderers. Maybe he needs to step outside his Salt Lake City campaign headquarters a little more often.
---
If Gary Johnson receives just a little more support in the polls, he will get to participate in the upcoming presidential debates. Organizers would make room for him on stage, probably right next to Vladimir Putin.
---
The FBI says Russia is most likely responsible for hacking into Democratic computers and stealing sensitive emails that embarrassed the party. Vladimir Putin denied any involvement, and he said if these allegations don’t stop, he’s prepared to embarrass a lot more U.S. officials.
---
Remember all those years ago when Nikita Khrushchev promised the West, “We will bury you”? Who knew the rest of the sentence was, “… under a pile of your own emails”?
---
Strangely, despite the hacks of Democratic computers, GOP computers have remained untouched. It turns out that ever since George W. Bush looked into his soul, Putin has been a Republican.
---
Trump asked the Russians to see if they could find Hillary’s missing emails. Say what you want about Richard Nixon, but he never had to outsource any break-ins at Democratic headquarters.
---
If Hillary is elected, Bill may not want to refer to himself as the First Man. He might attract a lawsuit from the estate of Adam, and I understand there are a lot of descendants.
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Enter your email address:

    Delivered by FeedBurner

    RSS Feed

    Ha! Ha! Ha!

    Everyone likes to laugh. Some of us even like to groan occasionally. Well, you've come to the right place. "On second thought" is a weekly feature I  produce for the Deseret News, available on Mondays. But here you can read them as I think of them.
      Oh yes, and if you've got something even funnier, post it in the comments. If I like it, I may use it.

    Archives

    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    May 2019
    March 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    October 2012
    September 2012
    August 2012
    July 2012
    June 2012

    Categories

    All
    Anthony Weiner
    Barack Obama
    Bcs
    Belarus
    Congress
    Donald Trump
    Fast And Furious
    Mitt Romney
    Nasa
    North Korea
    North Korea
    Olympics
    Politics
    Ron Paul
    Tea Party
    Utah
    Utah Legislature
    Venus


Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
Photos used under Creative Commons from Gwydion M. Williams, PetroleumJelliffe, mike.benedetti, ScrippsBee, Images_of_Money