By Jay Evensen
Deseret News
A lighthearted look at news of the day:
Last week, Vice President Joe Biden said, “There is no reason the nation of Africa cannot and should not join the ranks of the world’s most prosperous nations.” And there is no reason the planet of Biden can’t join the Galactic Senate.
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No wonder the Obama administration has been neglecting Africa. They can’t find the president of the place, let alone figure out where the capitol is.
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Democrats accuse Republicans in Congress of plotting to impeach President Obama. My guess is no one would dare to try as long as Biden is next in line.
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Meanwhile, 14 liberal senators have signed a letter urging President Obama to designate Salt Lake County as a national monument. This wouldn’t affect much, except that you could charge an admission fee when your relatives come to the next family reunion.
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Actually, the liberal senators want Obama to declare an area around Canyonlands National Park a national monument. They said the area is a “cornerstone of the American West,” based on some pictures they saw in a book once.
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LeBron James reportedly has lost a lot of weight by going on a no-carb diet. Note to everyone else: If LeBron playing a full NBA season plus playoffs isn’t enough to drop some weight, you might want to rethink your gym membership.
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Last week the Obama administration took time out from fighting the Little Sisters of the Poor in court in provide help for a persecuted religious group in Iraq. Of course, if these folks ever obtain asylum in the United States and they start a business that refuses to provide reproductive care, all bets are off.
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Concerned about the integrity of college football, the NCAA decided last week to let schools in the big five conferences give their players more ... uh … lucrative scholarships. No one has said yet when the first draft of high school stars will be held.
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The rules are designed to help schools give the neediest players what they need to have a full college experience, provided they know how to block, tackle, pass or run with abandon while carrying a ball.
---
Given that few colleges actually make a profit from their football programs, it’s a fair bet to say you can forget about enlarging the library on your favorite campus any time soon.
Deseret News
A lighthearted look at news of the day:
Last week, Vice President Joe Biden said, “There is no reason the nation of Africa cannot and should not join the ranks of the world’s most prosperous nations.” And there is no reason the planet of Biden can’t join the Galactic Senate.
---
No wonder the Obama administration has been neglecting Africa. They can’t find the president of the place, let alone figure out where the capitol is.
---
Democrats accuse Republicans in Congress of plotting to impeach President Obama. My guess is no one would dare to try as long as Biden is next in line.
---
Meanwhile, 14 liberal senators have signed a letter urging President Obama to designate Salt Lake County as a national monument. This wouldn’t affect much, except that you could charge an admission fee when your relatives come to the next family reunion.
---
Actually, the liberal senators want Obama to declare an area around Canyonlands National Park a national monument. They said the area is a “cornerstone of the American West,” based on some pictures they saw in a book once.
---
LeBron James reportedly has lost a lot of weight by going on a no-carb diet. Note to everyone else: If LeBron playing a full NBA season plus playoffs isn’t enough to drop some weight, you might want to rethink your gym membership.
---
Last week the Obama administration took time out from fighting the Little Sisters of the Poor in court in provide help for a persecuted religious group in Iraq. Of course, if these folks ever obtain asylum in the United States and they start a business that refuses to provide reproductive care, all bets are off.
---
Concerned about the integrity of college football, the NCAA decided last week to let schools in the big five conferences give their players more ... uh … lucrative scholarships. No one has said yet when the first draft of high school stars will be held.
---
The rules are designed to help schools give the neediest players what they need to have a full college experience, provided they know how to block, tackle, pass or run with abandon while carrying a ball.
---
Given that few colleges actually make a profit from their football programs, it’s a fair bet to say you can forget about enlarging the library on your favorite campus any time soon.
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