"On Second Thought" for April 8, 2013

"On Second Thought" is a weekly feature that takes a lighthearted look at issues of the day

North Korean leader Kim Jong Un is smitten by NBA players and threatens to go nuclear unless people take him seriously. Hmm. Sounds like he’s taking advice from Kim Kardashian.
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Americans are appalled at now-former Rutgers basketball coach Mike Rice because he shouted abusive things at players and was abusive. Of course. Why can’t today’s coaches be more like those beloved mentors of yore who did those things but knew how to win games?
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Bobby Knight is featured in a television commercial that makes fun of him throwing a chair across the basketball court during a game. Who says it doesn’t pay to lose your temper?
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A new Utah law prohibits teenagers under 18 from using their cell phones while driving. Lawmakers hope the young folks will refrain from such things until they turn 18 and magic fairy dust makes them competent to do it safely.
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Conveniently, no member of the Legislature is 16 or 17 years old.
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The town of Nelson, Ga., made news last week by passing an ordinance requiring all residents to own guns. This is what the Supreme Court started by ruling the health-insurance mandate was constitutional.
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Utah’s notorious “mountain man,” who lived in the wild and broke into several cabins to steal supplies and weapons, was arrested this week. Officials described him as “very chatty.” That happens when you spend years talking to pine trees.
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Rumor has it the mountain man wanted to be caught. Seems he picked Wichita State in his NCAA bracket and he needed a warm place to watch the Final Four.
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Don’t laugh, if it’s true, he could win the paranoid criminal survivalist bracket competition.
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Target decided recently to name the plus size of its “Heather Gray” dresses “Manatee Gray.” Manatees are large, blubbery aquatic mammals often referred to as sea cows. Executives behind this decision may soon be referred to as “former employees.”
Jay Evensen is the associate editor of the Deseret News editorial page. Follow him on Twitter @jayevensen.