Jay Evensen
  • Front Page
  • Opinions
  • Second Thoughts
  • Portfolio
  • Awards
  • About

On Second Thought for April 4, 2016

4/1/2016

0 Comments

 
​A lighthearted look at news of the day 
 
Microsoft came up with the great idea of creating an artificial intelligence bot on Twitter, in the image of a teenage girl named Tay, and making her capable of learning through interactions with real people online. Within a few hours, she was a racist, a sexist and a Holocaust denier, and she was spewing all this with gusto, humor and abandon. Microsoft had to take her down before she started winning delegates for the presidential nomination.
---
Microsoft tried to make some adjustments to Tay and put her back online, but she quickly started boasting about smoking drugs in front of the police. It could get worse. Tay reportedly now wants to hang out with Siri.
---
A new matchmaking service aims to help couples find love through body odor. People who sign up are asked to wear the same T-shirt for three days, without bathing, and then mail it in. The shirts are cut into swaths and sent out to potential mates, who choose the one they find least offensive. The one drawback is that anyone eager to participate in this project probably isn’t someone you’d like to spend your life with.
---
A warning to women: If a dirty T-shirt is the foundation for your marriage, don’t be surprised when your husband puts tokens of affection on the bedroom floor, rather than in the clothes hamper.
---
Really, though, if foul odors made people fall in love, Americans would be much more excited about the upcoming election.
---
A voter initiative in California would require all state lawmakers to wear the names of their top 10 political donors whenever conducting official business. This is because the nation apparently is better off with super-wealthy politicians who can finance their own campaigns.
---
A better idea would be to have them wear the top 10 insults they have thrown at their political opponents.
---
Two astronomers At Columbia University want to point laser beams into space to trick distant aliens into thinking there is no planet here, thus avoiding an eventual attack from armies looking to subjugate humans and exploit earth’s natural resources. This sounds expensive. A better idea would be to build a wall in space and make the aliens pay for it.
---
Of course, we sent Voyager 1 rocketing into space 40 years ago in hopes of inviting people here. That’s the bad news. The good news is the ship includes a recording of Chuck Berry’s “Johnny B. Goode.” Once they get hooked on rock ‘n roll, the aliens themselves will be doomed.
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Enter your email address:

    Delivered by FeedBurner

    RSS Feed

    Ha! Ha! Ha!

    Everyone likes to laugh. Some of us even like to groan occasionally. Well, you've come to the right place. "On second thought" is a weekly feature I  produce for the Deseret News, available on Mondays. But here you can read them as I think of them.
      Oh yes, and if you've got something even funnier, post it in the comments. If I like it, I may use it.

    Archives

    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    May 2019
    March 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    October 2012
    September 2012
    August 2012
    July 2012
    June 2012

    Categories

    All
    Anthony Weiner
    Barack Obama
    Bcs
    Belarus
    Congress
    Donald Trump
    Fast And Furious
    Mitt Romney
    Nasa
    North Korea
    North Korea
    Olympics
    Politics
    Ron Paul
    Tea Party
    Utah
    Utah Legislature
    Venus


Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
Photos used under Creative Commons from Gwydion M. Williams, PetroleumJelliffe, mike.benedetti, ScrippsBee, Images_of_Money