A lighthearted look at news of the day:
Some people who went to the IRS website on the final day to file income tax returns last Tuesday received a message that said the filing system was down because of a “planned outage,” and that it would be back up either in September 2016 or December 9999. See, this is what happens when we start legalizing marijuana.
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Be honest, how many of you saw this and thought, “Cool! I don’t have to pay taxes for, like, 8,000 years!”
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The IRS laughed it off and gave everyone an extra day to file. But if you make a simple error on your returns, you can bet you won’t be the one laughing.
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Coincidentally, December 9999 is the date when we’ll have the national debt paid off if we keep making the minimum $20 monthly payment.
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Twitter went down for a while last week. It was a nervous time for the nation, as no one knew for sure what President Trump was doing. Turns out he was on the phone ordering a plane that could skywrite messages.
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Members of the U.S. Senate have decided to allow babies in their chamber after Sen. Tammy Duckworth, D-Ill., recently became the first sitting Senator in history to give birth. Really, they had little choice. Setting a minimum maturity level for Senate participation would have put the entire government at risk.
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Utah Sen. Orrin Hatch said he was OK with allowing Duckworth’s baby on the Senate floor, but he wondered what would happen if there were 10 babies there. I can tell you what would happen. Everyone could testify they had witnessed a miracle, considering the average age in the Senate is 60.
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Meanwhile, Sen. Duckworth may find that her little bundle of joy is quite useful when it comes time to filibuster.
Some people who went to the IRS website on the final day to file income tax returns last Tuesday received a message that said the filing system was down because of a “planned outage,” and that it would be back up either in September 2016 or December 9999. See, this is what happens when we start legalizing marijuana.
---
Be honest, how many of you saw this and thought, “Cool! I don’t have to pay taxes for, like, 8,000 years!”
---
The IRS laughed it off and gave everyone an extra day to file. But if you make a simple error on your returns, you can bet you won’t be the one laughing.
---
Coincidentally, December 9999 is the date when we’ll have the national debt paid off if we keep making the minimum $20 monthly payment.
---
Twitter went down for a while last week. It was a nervous time for the nation, as no one knew for sure what President Trump was doing. Turns out he was on the phone ordering a plane that could skywrite messages.
---
Members of the U.S. Senate have decided to allow babies in their chamber after Sen. Tammy Duckworth, D-Ill., recently became the first sitting Senator in history to give birth. Really, they had little choice. Setting a minimum maturity level for Senate participation would have put the entire government at risk.
---
Utah Sen. Orrin Hatch said he was OK with allowing Duckworth’s baby on the Senate floor, but he wondered what would happen if there were 10 babies there. I can tell you what would happen. Everyone could testify they had witnessed a miracle, considering the average age in the Senate is 60.
---
Meanwhile, Sen. Duckworth may find that her little bundle of joy is quite useful when it comes time to filibuster.
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