A lighthearted look at news of the day:
Researchers at Northwestern have found that even casual use of marijuana leads to brain abnormalities. They would have discovered more, but their subjects forgot what the studies were about and researchers were having trouble keeping the vending machines stocked.
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This is good news. Those states that have legalized marijuana could repeal their laws and pot smokers would never know the difference.
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Last week, a rare lunar eclipse led to what is known as a blood moon. It’s unfortunate someone always has to schedule these things in the middle of the night on a weekday.
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Word has it that when President Obama saw the red moon, he immediately suspected Vladimir Putin of a lunar invasion.
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Here’s irony for you: Now that she’s unemployed, former Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius will have to try to logon to healthcare.gov to get insurance.
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Luckily, Obamacare makes sure you’re covered when the door slams into your backside on the way out.
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Russian President Vladimir Putin hosted a national call-in show last week. One of the callers was American fugitive Edward Snowden, wanted here for revealing secrets related to public surveillance. He asked Putin whether Russia spies on its people. Putin said no. Well, that settles it, then.
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So … Barack Obama has to suffer through leak after leak about secret NSA strategy designed to ferret out terrorists, but Vladimir Putin merely has to answer a softball question about whether he spies on people? I guess that’s the price Snowden has to pay for living in a “gated community” in Russia.
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Putin’s just a nice, cuddly guy who wouldn’t think of spying on his own people because, as he said, “We do not have the money.” Well of course, it’s hard to make ends meet when you’re busy invading neighboring countries.
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Another caller asked Putin whether he had plans to invade Alaska next. No, he said, it’s too cold there. He prefers the tropical clime of Kiev.
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Whatever happened to that nice Russian leader who used to dance drunk with rock bands? Oh wait, that’s the mayor of Toronto.
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Speaking of Rob Ford, he kicked off his re-election bid last week. The Toronto Sun said a “staggering” turnout was expected for his announcement. And that’s just a description of Ford’s own entrance.
Jay Evensen is the Deseret News senior editorial columnist.
Email: [email protected]
Twitter: @jayevensen
Researchers at Northwestern have found that even casual use of marijuana leads to brain abnormalities. They would have discovered more, but their subjects forgot what the studies were about and researchers were having trouble keeping the vending machines stocked.
❏ ❏ ❏
This is good news. Those states that have legalized marijuana could repeal their laws and pot smokers would never know the difference.
❏ ❏ ❏
Last week, a rare lunar eclipse led to what is known as a blood moon. It’s unfortunate someone always has to schedule these things in the middle of the night on a weekday.
❏ ❏ ❏
Word has it that when President Obama saw the red moon, he immediately suspected Vladimir Putin of a lunar invasion.
❏ ❏ ❏
Here’s irony for you: Now that she’s unemployed, former Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius will have to try to logon to healthcare.gov to get insurance.
❏ ❏ ❏
Luckily, Obamacare makes sure you’re covered when the door slams into your backside on the way out.
❏ ❏ ❏
Russian President Vladimir Putin hosted a national call-in show last week. One of the callers was American fugitive Edward Snowden, wanted here for revealing secrets related to public surveillance. He asked Putin whether Russia spies on its people. Putin said no. Well, that settles it, then.
❏ ❏ ❏
So … Barack Obama has to suffer through leak after leak about secret NSA strategy designed to ferret out terrorists, but Vladimir Putin merely has to answer a softball question about whether he spies on people? I guess that’s the price Snowden has to pay for living in a “gated community” in Russia.
❏ ❏ ❏
Putin’s just a nice, cuddly guy who wouldn’t think of spying on his own people because, as he said, “We do not have the money.” Well of course, it’s hard to make ends meet when you’re busy invading neighboring countries.
❏ ❏ ❏
Another caller asked Putin whether he had plans to invade Alaska next. No, he said, it’s too cold there. He prefers the tropical clime of Kiev.
❏ ❏ ❏
Whatever happened to that nice Russian leader who used to dance drunk with rock bands? Oh wait, that’s the mayor of Toronto.
❏ ❏ ❏
Speaking of Rob Ford, he kicked off his re-election bid last week. The Toronto Sun said a “staggering” turnout was expected for his announcement. And that’s just a description of Ford’s own entrance.
Jay Evensen is the Deseret News senior editorial columnist.
Email: [email protected]
Twitter: @jayevensen
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