Jay Evensen
  • Front Page
  • Opinions
  • Second Thoughts
  • Portfolio
  • Awards
  • About

On Second Thought for April 21, 2014

4/17/2014

0 Comments

 
A lighthearted look at news of the day:

Researchers at Northwestern have found that even casual use of marijuana leads to brain abnormalities. They would have discovered more, but their subjects forgot what the studies were about and researchers were having trouble keeping the vending machines stocked.
❏ ❏ ❏
This is good news. Those states that have legalized marijuana could repeal their laws and pot smokers would never know the difference.
❏ ❏ ❏
Last week, a rare lunar eclipse led to what is known as a blood moon. It’s unfortunate someone always has to schedule these things in the middle of the night on a weekday.
❏ ❏ ❏
Word has it that when President Obama saw the red moon, he immediately suspected Vladimir Putin of a lunar invasion.
❏ ❏ ❏
Here’s irony for you: Now that she’s unemployed, former Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius will have to try to logon to healthcare.gov to get insurance.
❏ ❏ ❏
Luckily, Obamacare makes sure you’re covered when the door slams into your backside on the way out.
❏ ❏ ❏
Russian President Vladimir Putin hosted a national call-in show last week. One of the callers was American fugitive Edward Snowden, wanted here for revealing secrets related to public surveillance. He asked Putin whether Russia spies on its people. Putin said no. Well, that settles it, then.
❏ ❏ ❏
So … Barack Obama has to suffer through leak after leak about secret NSA strategy designed to ferret out terrorists, but Vladimir Putin merely has to answer a softball question about whether he spies on people? I guess that’s the price Snowden has to pay for living in a “gated community” in Russia.
❏ ❏ ❏
Putin’s just a nice, cuddly guy who wouldn’t think of spying on his own people because, as he said, “We do not have the money.” Well of course, it’s hard to make ends meet when you’re busy invading neighboring countries.
❏ ❏ ❏
Another caller asked Putin whether he had plans to invade Alaska next. No, he said, it’s too cold there. He prefers the tropical clime of Kiev.
❏ ❏ ❏
Whatever happened to that nice Russian leader who used to dance drunk with rock bands? Oh wait, that’s the mayor of Toronto.
❏ ❏ ❏
Speaking of Rob Ford, he kicked off his re-election bid last week. The Toronto Sun said a “staggering” turnout was expected for his announcement. And that’s just a description of Ford’s own entrance.

Jay Evensen is the Deseret News senior editorial columnist.
Email: even@desnews.com
Twitter: @jayevensen
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Enter your email address:

    Delivered by FeedBurner

    RSS Feed

    Ha! Ha! Ha!

    Everyone likes to laugh. Some of us even like to groan occasionally. Well, you've come to the right place. "On second thought" is a weekly feature I  produce for the Deseret News, available on Mondays. But here you can read them as I think of them.
      Oh yes, and if you've got something even funnier, post it in the comments. If I like it, I may use it.

    Archives

    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    May 2019
    March 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    October 2012
    September 2012
    August 2012
    July 2012
    June 2012

    Categories

    All
    Anthony Weiner
    Barack Obama
    Bcs
    Belarus
    Congress
    Donald Trump
    Fast And Furious
    Mitt Romney
    Nasa
    North Korea
    North Korea
    Olympics
    Politics
    Ron Paul
    Tea Party
    Utah
    Utah Legislature
    Venus


Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
Photos used under Creative Commons from Gwydion M. Williams, PetroleumJelliffe, mike.benedetti, ScrippsBee, Images_of_Money