A lighthearted look at news of the day
Today, April 18, is tax day. It used to be on April 15. Apparently, inflation is rampant everywhere.
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Actually, the date was moved this year so as not to conflict with Emancipation Day. Emancipation, by the way, is a term that has absolutely no relevance to retiring your tax obligation.
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If this keeps up, tax day eventually could coincide with National Procrastination Day. That’s on June 1, although no one ever gets around to celebrating it.
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The Utah Jazz played Kobe Bryant and his merry band of passers last week in perhaps the most meaningful meaningless game in NBA history. It was Bryant’s last game, and he managed to score 60 points. This was kind of a metaphor for Bernie Sanders’ campaign. Yes, the old guy can still draw large crowds and put on a great show, but that doesn’t mean his team will qualify for the title.
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Meanwhile, Donald Trump, who inherited millions and has become a household name through real estate deals and television shows, apparently is trying to convince America that “the man” is trying to keep him from being nominated. I’m not sure who “the man” is, but we ought to elect him.
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Trump says the rules of how he has to win the Republican nomination are against him, such as that you have to have an organized campaign capable of collecting a certain number of delegates. Who knew?
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You also have to be registered to vote, which is something Trump’s children sure wish was common knowledge.
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Your Dad is running for president and you don’t register to vote? That’s sort of like Henry Ford’s kids not knowing how to start a car, or Roseanne Barr’s kids actually being able to sing the national anthem.
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Bernie Sanders joined a Verizon picket line last week. People misinterpreted this. He actually thought it was the line for the service counter, where he wanted to complain that his phone won’t flip open any more.
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Meanwhile, in Utah, word has it the state Republican Party is close to declaring itself an independent nation.
Today, April 18, is tax day. It used to be on April 15. Apparently, inflation is rampant everywhere.
---
Actually, the date was moved this year so as not to conflict with Emancipation Day. Emancipation, by the way, is a term that has absolutely no relevance to retiring your tax obligation.
---
If this keeps up, tax day eventually could coincide with National Procrastination Day. That’s on June 1, although no one ever gets around to celebrating it.
---
The Utah Jazz played Kobe Bryant and his merry band of passers last week in perhaps the most meaningful meaningless game in NBA history. It was Bryant’s last game, and he managed to score 60 points. This was kind of a metaphor for Bernie Sanders’ campaign. Yes, the old guy can still draw large crowds and put on a great show, but that doesn’t mean his team will qualify for the title.
---
Meanwhile, Donald Trump, who inherited millions and has become a household name through real estate deals and television shows, apparently is trying to convince America that “the man” is trying to keep him from being nominated. I’m not sure who “the man” is, but we ought to elect him.
---
Trump says the rules of how he has to win the Republican nomination are against him, such as that you have to have an organized campaign capable of collecting a certain number of delegates. Who knew?
---
You also have to be registered to vote, which is something Trump’s children sure wish was common knowledge.
---
Your Dad is running for president and you don’t register to vote? That’s sort of like Henry Ford’s kids not knowing how to start a car, or Roseanne Barr’s kids actually being able to sing the national anthem.
---
Bernie Sanders joined a Verizon picket line last week. People misinterpreted this. He actually thought it was the line for the service counter, where he wanted to complain that his phone won’t flip open any more.
---
Meanwhile, in Utah, word has it the state Republican Party is close to declaring itself an independent nation.
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