Jay Evensen
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On Second Thought for April 28, 2014

4/25/2014

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A lighthearted look at news of the day:

CNN reported that the Democratic Party has a short list of cities it is considering for its 2016 national convention. Salt Lake City is one of them. There are some hurdles to cross before this can happen, however. For one thing, Utah would have to officially recognize the party.

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After an initial splash at the box office, the much-hyped “Noah” movie seems to have drowned in a flood of indifference. It’s not even clear whether the movie will last in theaters for 40 days and 40 nights.

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Strip away all the arguments about Biblical accuracy and “Noah” is just another film with animated rocks.

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Southern Nevada’s Cliven Bundy had something going there for a while with his “take back the land” crusade against the BLM — until everyone realized he wanted to take it back to before the Civil War.

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Bundy said black people were better off picking cotton as slaves than they are today. Now we have a new Olympic event — the political sprint away from Bundy. The current record holder appears to be Texas Sen. Ted Cruz, followed closely by Kentucky Sen. Rand Paul.

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Everyone thought Cliven Bundy was from Bunkerville, Nev. Turns out he’s really from Archie Bunker-ville.

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Last week a teenager flew from San Jose to Hawaii in the wheel well of an airliner. Not only was he arrested for this, the airline is refusing to let him count the trip as frequent flyer miles.

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Experts say it is a miracle the 16-year-old stowaway survived the thin atmosphere at 38,000 feet and temperatures that would have been about 80 degrees below zero. They think his body may have gone into a state of suspended animation. That’s good news for him, but bad news for the rest of us as airlines begin to consider new ways to offer discounted fares.

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You think flying is rough today. Wait until you long to be “upgraded” to the baggage compartment.

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Jeffrey Wade Chapman is about to go on trial in Kansas on charges he killed another man. But first, he has petitioned the court to allow him to remove a tattoo from his throat. The tattoo says, “Murder.” What an embarrassing coincidence.

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Here’s some advice. If you have “Murder” tattooed on your throat, you might want to think about committing a different sort of crime.

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Second Thoughts for July 2, 2012

6/27/2012

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  • If last week’s primary election in Utah was any indication, tea party supporters are searching for a new beverage.
  • A party that uses the word “tea” was never a good fit for Utah, anyway. The Diet Coke party, now that’s something a lot of folks around here could get behind.

  • Last week is a big one for the nation’s highest court. Immigration, juvenile justice, health care — these are the kinds of decisions we elected them to make. Oh wait …

  • I don’t want to imply the court is arrogant, but it was a little much when the justices ended their session by announcing the winner of The Bachelor.

  • In another decision last week, the court ruled it unconstitutional to punish someone for lying about his or her military record. The majority opinion was written by Gen. Anthony Kennedy.

  • After years of hearing the public clamor for a college football playoff system, the BCS last week announced it had come up with a novel new idea — a college football playoff system!

  • Actually, when they heard Utah Attorney General Mark Shurtleff was getting ready to sue them over the U of U not having a chance at the title game a few years ago, they knew the jig was up.

  • Of course, the BCS will choose the playoff teams with a complicated formula involving computers, tarot cards and pig entrails. But at least it’s a step in the right direction.

  • Utahns are preparing to take some well-deserved time off this week from fighting out-of-control wildfires all over the state. Many of them plan to use the time off to light incendiary devices in their back yards.

  • The House voted last week to hold Attorney General Eric Holder in contempt. Interesting word, contempt. With the latest polls showing Congress with only a 17.8 percent approval rating, it would appear the nation’s contempt lies elsewhere.

  • In fact, the latest negative political ads make it clear you have to have a good deal of contempt just to get elected to office.

  • The city of Stockton, Calif., declared bankruptcy last week. Residents knew they were in trouble when they saw city officials hanging out in front of a payday lender, changing into various disguises to see if they could avoid being rejected again and again.


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