Jay Evensen
  • Front Page
  • Opinions
  • Second Thoughts
  • Portfolio
  • Awards
  • About

Forgiveness can make American great again

6/22/2016

0 Comments

 
Picture
The political season may not be when people want to hear this. The same could be said about the immediate aftermath of the Orlando massacre. But we all could benefit from being more forgiving.
​
In fact, this may be the exact time when we need this message the most. Few things destroy health quicker than stress, and the world seems engulfed in stress right now. Having a forgiving heart would wipe that out. 
“It’s almost entirely erased — it’s statistically zero,” Loren Toussaint, associate professor of psychology at Iowa’s Luther College, recently told Time magazine. He was referring to the almost magical effect a forgiving heart has on stress.

Toussaint is the author of a new study published in the Journal of Health Psychology. Researchers asked 148 young people to fill out surveys assessing how much stress they felt in life, as well as the state of their physical and mental health. Also, the survey asked them about their tendency to forgive people who had wronged them.

The more stress people reported feeling, the worse their physical and mental health. But if people were forgiving — of themselves as well as others — stress had virtually no effect on health.

“If you don’t have forgiving tendencies, you feel the raw effects of stress in an unmitigated way,” Toussaint told Time. “You don’t have a buffer against that stress.”

Examples abound of people who have made this work in their lives, despite being victims of awful crimes. More than a decade ago, I first wrote about Vicky Ruvolo, a woman who was driving down a Long Island highway on a frosty night when a teenager in an oncoming car thought it would be fun to toss a stolen 20-pound turkey at her windshield.

Ruvolo nearly died. Her cheeks, jaw and an eye socket were fractured. Her esophagus was damaged and she suffered some brain damage. Yet when the case came to court several months later, she convinced the judge to go easy on her assailant. Then she embraced the young man in court and forgave him.

When I spoke with her years later, Ruvolo had a remarkable sense of humor and seemed genuinely happy. She wrote a book about her experiences. Perhaps most significantly, her assailant, Ryan Cushing, wrote a tribute in it that said, in part, “Your ability to forgive me has had a profound effect on me. It has already made a positive change in my life.”

We may read that story and marvel, not only at Ruvolo’s capacity to set aside her own pain, but at how her decision affected everything that followed, both in her life and in Cushing’s. And yet many people refuse to let go of slights far less significant in their own lives.

A few years ago I interviewed Martin Doblemeier, a documentary filmmaker who was exploring this theme. Among other things, he went around New York City asking people whether a part of the former Twin Towers site, destroyed in the 9/11 attacks, should be dedicated to a “forgiveness garden.”

The results were as illuminating as they were varied and emotional. They also remain relevant today. There is little evidence to suggest the health affects of forgiveness are confined only to the perceived harms done to us personally. How we feel about national events, politicians, crimes, groups or circumstances beyond out control are important, as well.

Many people, it appears, get hung up on what forgiveness means. For Ruvolo, it never meant excusing what had been done to her. It wasn’t a sign of weakness or capitulation. It was empowering. Doblemeier’s reporting found that for many it was a liberating gift people could give themselves.

He and others also have found forgiveness is a constant process, not a one-time event. It can be a difficult attitude to maintain.

But consider this: Time also published a graphic on what stress can do to your health. Among other things, it raises blood pressure, increases cholesterol levels, heightens the risk of type-2 diabetes, causes ulcers and leads to headaches, shoulder and neck pain.
​
Given all that, a nationwide emphasis on learning to forgive may be just what we all need to regain a sense of sanity.
0 Comments

Your comment will be posted after it is approved.


Leave a Reply.

    RSS Feed

    Search this site


    Like what you read here?

      Please subscribe below, and we'll let you know when there is a new opinion.

    Enter your email address:

    Delivered by FeedBurner

    Picture

    The author

    Jay Evensen is the Opinion Editor of the Deseret News. He has more than 40 years experience as a reporter, editor and editorial writer in Oklahoma, New York City, Las Vegas and Salt Lake City. He also has been an adjunct journalism professor at Brigham Young and Weber State universities.

    Archives

    June 2025
    May 2025
    April 2025
    March 2025
    February 2025
    January 2025
    December 2024
    November 2024
    October 2024
    September 2024
    August 2024
    July 2024
    June 2024
    May 2024
    April 2024
    March 2024
    February 2024
    January 2024
    December 2023
    November 2023
    October 2023
    September 2023
    August 2023
    July 2023
    June 2023
    May 2023
    April 2023
    March 2023
    February 2023
    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    October 2012
    September 2012
    August 2012
    July 2012
    June 2012

    Categories

    All
    Campaign 2012
    Congress
    Crime
    Culture
    Iran
    Oil And Gas
    Poverty
    Steroids
    Taxes
    Utah
    Washington
    World Events
    World Events

    Links

    Deseret News
    Newslink
    Marianne Evensen's blog

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
Photos from jamesjoel, DOWN ESPAÑA, garethjmsaunders, University of Salford, Adam Jones, Ph.D. - Global Photo Archive, marcoverch, See-ming Lee 李思明 SML, edgarzunigajr, Theo K, ActuaLitté, Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com, Backbone Campaign, OIST (Okinawa Institute of Science and Technology), bradleygee, @sage_solar, sianiweston, makelessnoise, COD Newsroom, philozopher, Congressman George Miller, Jordi Bernabeu, edgarzunigajr, National Assembly For Wales / Cynulliad Cymru, simpleinsomnia, Mike Bonitz, Becker1999, manhhai, BiblioArchives / LibraryArchives, amira_a, Ken Lund, Bread for the World, r.nial.bradshaw, DearEdward, sinisterbluebox, denebola2025, thedoc31, ** RCB **, IQRemix, sandiegoduiattorney, Rob.Bertholf, Seluryar, Ben Sutherland, O.S. Fisher, Tony Webster, www.rubenholthuijsen.nl, Zachi Evenor, jonnwilliams, Lion Multimedia Production U.S.A., penjelly, jillccarlson, ADAM TAS IMAGES, UNMEER, DonkeyHotey, USDAgov, The Prime Minister's Office, Maicon Garcia, CountyLemonade, familymwr, Muffet, DonkeyHotey, tedeytan, KristineL761, penjelly, Leap Kye, sully213, NLNY, frankieleon, haven't the slightest, ljlandre, jalbertbowdenii, Rvs1966, Marion Doss, Vassilis Online, Dan Bock, Prestonbot, Frontierofficial, L. Bartha, educators.co.uk, Kelly Hunter, lindsayloveshermac, Michael.Jolley, dw_ross, Janitors, KAZVorpal, combusean, wuestenigel, apardavila, BodyWorn, MDGovpics, MHS Touchdown Club, JeepersMedia, Elvert Barnes, fred_v, CountyLemonade, mitchell haindfield, qbac07, David Holt London, Hoshi_sae, DonkeyHotey, aaronrhawkins, Ruth and Dave, CountyLemonade, Akademija Oxford, NASA Goddard Photo and Video, Chimpanz APe, huskyte77, GotCredit, sandiegoduiattorney, pacificpelican, streetsensedc, ell brown, Aaron Volkening, rgserapio, Asian Development Bank, paularps, ThoseGuys119, USDAgov, SIM USA, gnrklk, kthypryn, Zeitfixierer, vwcampin, regan76, frankieleon, Robert Couse-Baker, JoeInSouthernCA, SounderBruce, ThoseGuys119, CDC Global Health, Gage Skidmore, bunnicula, Fire At Will [Photography], Alexandre Prévot, Anth0ny Gale, vastateparksstaff, raphael.chekroun, Gerry Dincher, halseike, Prayitno / Thank you for (12 millions +) view, Gage Skidmore, infomatique, omarsalvatierragracida, Jerk Alert Productions, DonkeyHotey, Österreichisches Außenministerium, Photocapy, USDAgov, Taymaz Valley, jencu, Peter Krantz, WayShare, Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com, gruntzooki, CountyLemonade, makelessnoise, Denise Cross Photography, Roadgeek Adam, Tony Webster, amy.gizienski, faungg's photo, makelessnoise, FolsomNatural, Loimere, free pictures of money, Exile on Ontario St, EvinDC, ell brown, kamirao, coachphatty, Keith Allison, Raido Kaldma, avrene, Shutterbug Fotos, Elvert Barnes, Andrew Feinberg, Tony Webster, danxoneil, GrandGeneralStormCommando, MShades, Joe Frazier Photo, Kurdishstruggle, Omranic, SounderBruce, Mike Morbeck, Got Credit, Scudamore's Punting Company, wuestenigel, r.nial.bradshaw, NIAID, torbakhopper, 81disasters, gaobo, John Haro, Metro Atlanta Transit Productions, foundin_a_attic, Sten Dueland, tedeytan, CarbonNYC [in SF!], Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com, marcn, pburka, BBurchell Photography, wbaiv, heyexit, Phillie Casablanca, Neil T, LendingMemo, Elsie esq., Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com, n4rwhals, WalterPro4755, railsr4me, JLaw45, Janitors, USDAgov, MarkDoliner, educators.co.uk, wuestenigel, Franco Folini, JeanneMenjoulet&Cie, WayShare, Gamma Man, ninara, Bob Linsdell, H.KoPP, Vegar S Hansen Photography, denebola2025, Aircaft @ Gloucestershire Airport By James, Talusss, LaBellaVida, wwarby, easysentri, evelynquek, Ken Lund, rdmsf, North Charleston, t--h--s, denisbin, stcyshn, Tim Evanson, KAZVorpal, jurvetson, Simon_sees, thisisbossi, Photographing Travis, Phil Roeder, rich701, BPPrice, Kadano, quinnums, MoneyBlogNewz, wickenden, Lost Albatross, Bernd Thaller, Dave Snowden, CountyLemonade, au_ears, annikaleigh, magerleagues, MICOLO J Thanx 4 725k+ views, DonkeyHotey, progre, frankieleon, quinn.anya, Ryan Hallock, jsnsndr, abominable_eagle, Alan Cleaver, aflcio, CDC Global Health, NASA Goddard Photo and Video, jellygator, Jason M Parrish, USDAgov, Mystery in the mail, CJS*64 "Man with a camera", BenDibble, Joybot, JoeInSouthernCA, Pawel Maryanov, kennethkonica, mitchell haindfield, USDAgov, stevebott, Tyler Merbler, NCDOTcommunications, Exile on Ontario St, CBP Photography, jboe2009, WWYD?, liveoncelivewild, vaxomatic, Hunky Punk, tedeytan, GotCredit, Find Your Feet, Fibonacci Blue, Nicholas_T, Sergey Galyonkin, shock264, Georgie Pauwels, EU Humanitarian Aid and Civil Protection, adifferentbrian, Seluryar, Riik@mctr, Andrew Moura, Michael.Jolley, kellybdc, inkknife_2000 (7.5 million views +), JeepersMedia, TheTruthAbout, Anton V. Larionov, HloomHloom, surreynews, {Guerrilla Futures | Jason Tester}, Secretary of Defense, The All-Nite Images, FootMassagez, You're In My Light (jerrysEYES), BLMOregon, Achilli Family | Journeys, Gerry Dincher, Ken Lund, Triple-green, yourbestdigs, Richard Elzey, Prestonbot, automobileitalia, Fora do Eixo, mary_gaston22, bk2000, AutrementDit Toronto., Elvert Barnes, dualdflipflop, mikemacmarketing, Hoshi_sae, torbakhopper, eburniche3, Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com, Abeeeer, Rob.Bertholf, Don Hankins, dannielleblumenthal-thinkbrandfirst, USDAgov, wuestenigel, Michael.Jolley, xiquinhosilva, Images_of_Money, OregonDOT, [email protected], gregfriese, SounderBruce, Kevin Johnston, Imagens Evangélicas, loop_oh, Magic Robot, funktionhouse, Gage Skidmore, Yosuke WATANABE, Mark Scott Johnson, F43r1x, ljlphotography, dsearls, David Holt London, ER24 EMS (Pty) Ltd., Images_of_Money, roberthuffstutter, monkeyz_uncle, zemistor, fred_v, DonkeyHotey, Obama-Biden Transition Project, CedarBendDrive, nestor galina, brianholsclaw, ryochiji, thisisbossi, Bright Meadow, richard winchell, Svadilfari, Edward M Johnson, NavaInstigator>>>, VarsityLife, ourbethlehem, Mr. T in DC, mwanasimba, Franco Folini, qnr, Dougtone, LightinkLibrarian, Obama-Biden Transition Project, The Official CTBTO Photostream, AstroSamantha, MoreSatisfyingPhotos.com, The Shopping Sherpa, The National Guard, craigdietrich, kamshots, ewan traveler, World Can't Wait, Gila Forest, kaffeeringe, jgurbisz, gruntzooki, Supermac1961, thievingjoker, Rod Waddington, PlayfulLibrarian, Philip Taylor PT, AlicePopkorn, Raido Kaldma, dan taylor, Cannabis Culture, surreynews, cliff1066™, Lars Plougmann, ANZ Cluster Munition Coalition, Tracy O, www.davidbaxendale.com, Rob Barrett Photography, BuzzFarmers, Political Graveyard, ojbyrne, US Mission Geneva, inkknife_2000, ubiquit23, Dan Bock, irrezolut, Frankie Roberto, Abode of Chaos, KOMUnews, John Pavelka, ElectronicFrontierFoundation, DonkeyHotey, carlos.a.martinez, pnoeric, ARTS, ubiquit23, Ken Lund, Tony Fischer Photography, brewbooks, || UggBoy♥UggGirl || PHOTO || WORLD || TRAVEL ||, blackplastic, cristee12, Shan213, OPEN Sports, Korean Resource Center 민족학교, cocoate.com, karola riegler photography, 4nitsirk, gnuckx, citizenactionny, rezsox, Jeffrey Beall, david_shane, Mrs. Gemstone, Erik Daniel Drost, stockicide, kadluba, joaquinuy, quinn.anya, ReneS, StockMonkeys.com, loop_oh, Steve Tolcher, Iqbal Osman1, kiwanja, rawmustard, Anthony J, El Bibliomata, International Information Program (IIP), Alex McClung, danielmoyle, "G" jewels g is for grandma, slgckgc, Images_of_Money, fivedollarones, x1klima, Gabriel GM, redjar, andertoons, gvgoebel, .Larry Page, Mr. T in DC, chintanamin, KatVitulano Photos, Ken Lund, adactio, shroncin, RobotSkirts, jeffschuler, VinothChandar, Joybot, neurollero, erasergirl, Matías Garabedian, viviandnguyen_, Digitale Gesellschaft, markhillary, mkphotonet, jgBeachcomber, jimbowen0306, Franco Folini, dno1967b, jurvetson, MargaretNapier, Elvert Barnes, muddum27, [email protected], Frontierofficial, dsearls, Shamanic Shift, Andrew Feinberg, Prayitno/ more than 2 millions views: thank you!, playerx, FSonne-pennstate73, The Daring Librarian, Vicky Hugheston, thenestor, Dusan Simonovic, David Reber's Hammer Photography, Justin A. Wilcox, Hollywood_PR, AR McLin, BrownGuacamole, Gage Skidmore, zache, Medill DC, wheat_in_your_hair, patricialow, Matt McGee, Bill Stanley, jerekeys, cletch, 6SN7, killrbeez, شبكة برق | B.R.Q, colros, Eric Kilby, kenteegardin, Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com, Erik Daniel Drost, Edward Dalmulder, chris friese, simone.brunozzi, Daquella manera, stevebott, stevendepolo, DFID - UK Department for International Development, justinmatthew21, a.drian, cudmore, Extra Ketchup, wbaiv, Loren Javier, swanksalot, CountyLemonade, indigoprime, Bryn Pinzgauer, Paul Robertson, Gruenemann, r.nial.bradshaw, Sam Beebe, Ecotrust, Fibonacci Blue, .jocelyn., RESchroeder, MoneyBlogNewz, matze_ott, swskeptic, peterolthof, Charleston's TheDigitel, Tony Webster, Themeplus, sDanOoO, CountyLemonade, Our Dream Photography (Personal), anitakhart, Waiting For The Word, Matt-Zimmerman, Dougtone