On Second Thought is a weekly feature that takes a lighthearted look at current events.

Casual observers may wonder whether Americans are being redundant by designating a specific month for madness.

First it was “fiscal cliff January,” then “sequestration February” and now “March madness.” I’m just hoping we’re still around for the dog days of summer.

White House staffers reportedly had to convince the president he no longer needed to pick Ohio State or a Michigan school in his bracket in order to win votes.

Some people say the NCAA basketball tournament unites the nation as no other event can. This is true. Just look at how people united last week to hate the Harvard team for ruining everyone’s brackets.

Tired of trying to work out a budget deal between Republicans and Democrats, President Obama decided to take on something simpler last week — peace between Israelis and Palestinians.

The president urged Israelis and Palestinians to return to negotiations with few, if any, pre-conditions, other than that the standard one that the rich need to pay more.

Retired basketball star Dennis Rodman told a reporter last week that North Korean leader Kim Jong Un has a daughter — something previously unknown and possibly a state secret. So much for the plans to develop a nuclear missile that would kill all Americans except Rodman.

Never trust a state secret to a guy who wears dresses and colors his hair before every game.

Rodman visited the brutal dictator last month. "I love him," he said. "The guy's really awesome." He probably says that about all the despots.

Word is the folks in Cyprus are trying to come up with a new cliché to replace, “You can bank on it.”

Americans scoff at the Cypriot proposal to tax money held in bank savings accounts. In this country, as any politician knows, you grab the money before people have a chance to put it in the bank.

Experts warned that Cyprus’ failed attempt to tax bank accounts might even keep Americans from depositing their hard-earned savings. Actually, microscopic interests rates have already accomplished that.

Scientists say they have found evidence to support the theory that the universe was once smaller than an atom, but that it exploded and expanded in an instant. Kind of makes you wary of sitting next to an atom, or something smaller, during dinner, doesn’t it?

Scientists call this sudden big bang “inflation,” because it’s so similar to what will happen one day if the government keeps pumping billions a month into Treasuries and mortgage backed securities.

Gov. Gary Herbert vetoed a bill that would have made it legal to carry a concealed weapon in Utah without a permit. Easy for him to do, he has armed guards.

All I can say is, if the Girl Scouts had been carrying concealed weapons last week, a thief never would have gotten away with stealing their money from a table outside a Wal-mart.

   "On Second Thought" is a weekly feature that takes a lighthearted look at news of the day.

• Remember when the only time you had to worry about being sequestered was if you were called to jury duty?
• Given the amount of official hysteria flying around Washington last week and the relative calm that followed, it’s hard to remember. Was sequestration put in place by the White House and Congress, or was it on the Mayan calendar?
• White House strategists came up with an ingenious way to divert attention from the upcoming sequester last week: Attack Bob Woodward.
• Woodward quickly learned that, while the administration may not have the wherewithal to send an aircraft carrier into the Persian Gulf, as he had noted, it had plenty of wherewithal to attack a nosy journalist who would point this out.
• Woodward said he got an email from a high-ranking administration official saying Woodward would regret writing that the president had misstated the origins of the sequester. So, who’s regretful now?
• The old rule was to never pick a fight with someone who buys ink by the barrel. Has anyone calculated how many barrels it takes to go viral?
• Meanwhile, someone should monitor Richard Nixon’s grave for seismic activity as Bob Woodward suddenly has become the darling of the Republican Party.
• Dennis Rodman, the flamboyant NBA Hall of Famer known for coloring his hair before games and putting on wedding dresses, became the highest profile American to visit North Korea under new leader Kim Jong Un last week. We might as well deal with Kim on a level he can understand.
• The trip was filmed as part of an HBO documentary produced by the VICE media company. VICE correspondent Ryan Duffy invited Kim to visit the United States. Sure, he could even be part of a reality show —Wipeout: dictators’ version.
• Rodman reportedly told Kim, “You have a friend for life.” That’s OK. He said the same thing to Madonna once.
• Nixon used what became known as ping-pong diplomacy to forge new relationships with China. Rodman’s visit to North Korea may be described as ding-dong diplomacy
• The Utah Legislature is looking at ways to keep wild turkeys from overrunning rural neighborhoods. Only in Utah could you talk at length about wild turkey and actually mean a wild turkey.
• For years, Utah wildlife officials have imported turkeys from other states in order to boost the state’s wild turkey population. Just think if government was this successful recruiting businesses.
• Being overrun by new business people would no doubt pose some unique problems, as well. But, unlike wild turkeys, at least they use bathrooms.

By Jay Evensen
Deseret News
First we were plucked from the edge of the fiscal cliff. Now we need to be saved from the looming debt ceiling. Then, automatic spending cuts will push us to the cliff again in March. Let’s face it, as superheroes go, politicians are pretty lame.
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Have you checked you paycheck stubs? We might not have fallen off a cliff, but we definitely lost altitude.
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What’s next? A “we’re tied to the tracks and the train is coming” crisis? If so, someone needs to untie Greece from the tracks, first.
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A newspaper back east created controversy recently by publishing the names and addresses of all concealed-weapons holders in its area. Word has it the next target will be all New Yorkers who possess soft drinks in quantities larger than 16 ounces.
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Meanwhile, Spring City, Utah, decided to take a different route. The City Council was mulling an ordinance to require everyone in town to posses a gun. No word on whether the mayor and city council would be required to have bigger guns than everyone else.
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Washington can’t seem to get around to eliminating pennies, which pile up in sock drawers, but the Treasury may soon begin minting a trillion-dollar coin. Wait until Uncle Sam tries to break one of those at a 7-Eleven.
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The $1 trillion coin is the Obama administration’s latest threat in its battle to get Congress to increase the nation’s debt ceiling. In laymen’s terms, it’s like getting the mother of all credit cards.
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The Post Office may want to consider creating a trillion-dollar stamp. All it would take is for the government to mail one letter.
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Then the coin could circulate to the Social Security Administration, the military and even the NHL. There could be no end to the organizations it saves. The good news is soon we’ll all have these coins in our pockets. The bad news is we’ll need them just to buy a loaf of bread.
Jay Evensen is the associate editor of the Deseret News editorial page. Follow him on Twitter @jayevensen.

“On Second Thought” is a weekly feature in the Deseret News that takes a lighthearted look at current events. This is the laboratory where I put them together each week. Let me know what you think, and please add some of your own through comments, Twitter, Facebook or email if you have any funny ideas.